The morning came very early on my second day in Stockholm, not because I was ready to wake up, but because there were no blinds in the room. But that’s okay. The amazingly expensive hostel I was in came complete with a breakfast so I was able to go downstairs and have a nice, healthy meal of meat and bread and cheese and hardboiled eggs before going off to activate my Stockholm Card. My first stop was going to be the water ferry to take me across to this island where there were a number of museums I wanted to checkout. See, Stockholm is built on a number of islands, I think it’s 13 that make up the primary city, and there are water busses and taxis to get across easily. And My card is supposed to give me access… except not to the one nearby. It does give me free rides, but only from a certain spot and that spot was a hell of a walk from where I was, so I paid to get across.

First stop, a place called The Aquaria. I know, what a surprise, huh? But this place seemed kinda cool so in I went. It was set up

Fish at the Aquaria

in different climate zones, so the first section was an Amazon Rainforest. There was a back porch set and huge catfish swimming around, and piranha which they claimed weren’t as dangerous as people made them out to be but I choose not to believe them since the image of a hundred of the little buggers reducing a cow to bones in seconds is just way to cool to be false. The next section

Big catfish

was more of a dirty water education thing, where they had built a sewer you could climb down into and see how pollution affects things. Overall, it was small, but nice. This was the thing I was going to learn about Stockholm museums (and I saw a lot of them, I was determined to get my money’s worth out of that little card) is that they are all fairly small, so you can see a lot of them and they don’t really wear you out.

Of course, now that I’ve said that, my next stop was the Vasa Museum. The Vasa, not to be confused with Vaasa, was a state of the art battleship back in the 1600s which sank about 20 minutes into its maiden voyage. It sat on the bottom of the Stockholm harbor where, for some reason they explained a dozen times and I still didn’t quite get, it didn’t rot. So in the 60s they raised the thing, nearly intact, and threw it (carefully) into a

The figurehead at the prow of the Vasa

museum. It’s like when they used to have the Spruce Goose in Long Beach and it was just there and the majesty of it was almost overwhelming. When you walked into this museum and turned the corner after paying (which I didn’t do, I just flashed my card haha), the ship was just there. Huge and powerful and stuck in time. It really is hard to describe. The pictures don’t do it justice. It’s like when you see a whale in the ocean for the first time and you realize just how impressive it truly is. I literally stopped where I was and just stared. For a good ten minutes, I was riveted, just taking it in.

I couldn't get it all in one picture

I know I keep joking about being a pirate but seeing this ship really puts you there, you can smell the salt and sweat (okay, not that much sweat, it did only sail for twenty minutes). And the museum surrounding it not only covers the ship and its history, but a lot of information on the times it sailed as well. It was only one room, but it was a big room. I was there for a few hours and still didn’t see it all.

From there, I went to Junibacken, which is a museum in honor of Astrid Lindgren, who wrote Pippi Longstocking. Except she wrote so much more than that! I had no idea. Like when you first find out Ian Fleming also wrote Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. This lady was remarkable. I definitely want to get more of her stories when I get back. Anyway, this museum has two parts, the first is a kids area, with giant playthings and set pieces a la Pippi and the other part is a ride like storybookland through Lindgren’s different tales. I will say, not knowing what it

Kids playing in Pippi-land

was when I went in, I felt kinda creepy surrounded by parents and all these little kids and here I was, a middle aged guy on my own. Like that circus place in Bratislava (only that place was worse).

By this point, I was starving so I tried to find food. Not so easy. But since I knew where I was

Floating Boat Museum - Largest Diesel Engine in Sweden!

headed, I just pointed myself in that direction and struck out. I did make a stop or two to climb aboard a museum ship and check out an amusement park, but eventually, food was found. Then it was off to Skansen, the open air museum.

The idea behind Skansen is that it’s a huge park and they’ve recreated an old village inside, complete with craftsman and period costumes and the like (the girl in the 16^th century dress, high tops and cell phone made laugh). They also have a zoo, an aquarium (which really isn’t an aquarium – more on that in a minute) a concert venue and a lot of green areas. It’s a spectacular area to visit, one of the most popular in Stockholm. And of course, it was included with my card. So I walked in and tried to decipher a map which, really, was no good at all. Here’s the secret to Europe (but don’t tell anyone): Everything is closer than you think it is but further than you want it to be. It’s like walking between hotels on the Strip in Vegas. You’d swear it’s just right there, but then, no, it’s a lot further away. Wait. It’s the complete opposite of that. Never mind, forget I said anything. Anyway, back to the map. I had it in my pocket and the place looked absolutely huge and overwhelming (thankfully, I’d eaten). So, naturally, I decided to go with my comfort zone and hit the thing I wanted to see first – That’s right, the Aquarium.

Thing with the Aquarium in Skansen is that it has an extra fee attached to it. Just paying to get into the park doesn’t cover you.

Lemurs!!!

Since I’d already seen an Aquarium earlier in the day, I was ready to just bypass it – but then I discovered it was included with my card (I’m starting to love this card!). And I’ll tell you, it would have been a huge mistake to miss this place. Remember how I said it wasn’t really an Aquarium? It’s not. It’s more like a roadside attraction zoo on steroids. First thing you see when you walk in is the Ring Tailed Lemur exhibit. This ain’t your Helsinki Zoo here, no siree. I walk in and immediately, I’m face to face with a Lemur. I mean he’s right there! I immediately grab some poor kid to take my

Me with Lemurs

picture before they realize this critter has escaped and is running wild. And then I realize… they know. In fact, I was walking right through the middle of the lemur’s habitat. They were walking on the stairs, hanging out on the railings, following you on the platform. You were in their space. It was amazing! I stayed in there longer than any other exhibit (well…almost, but we’re getting to that) and just watched them play.

Lemur's Day Off

There were times when I’d have staring contests and times when they’d ignore me. Then there was the one who thought it was great fun to lick himself on the stairs. The families nearby did a lot of covering their children’s eyes.

Moving on from there was an assortment of weird little (and not so little) creatures. There were alligators and spiders, naked mole rats and turtles. They also had the oddest sense of humor when

Check out the hand in the upper left

it came to their displays. There was a desert landscape with a rattlesnake and a skeletal hand. There was a huge dirt enclosure for chipmunks (and the only reason I’m not mocking the same way I mocked Finland is because these little guys were tough. Check out this fight):

And then there were the meerkats. Okay, meercats are just cool in general. We’ve all wondered about Meerkat Manor, right. Could a documentary/soap opera on the lives of Savannah-Based (Africa, not Georgia) rodents really be that interesting? You betcha! I stood for longer than I was with the lemurs and watched a group of these guys take care of a baby who was prone on the rocks. They would each take turns coming over, checking in, making sure the little guy didn’t fall into a crevice (and if he started to, they’d grab him and spin him

Helping the baby

Baby Meerkat

around so he’d be safe). At the end, the baby crawled into someone’s lap and then two others joined in and the three completely covered the sleeping Katlet. Cutest thing ever!

When I left the animals, I walked around the rest of the park. I saw the glass blower and passed the old bindery (which was closed, but I took pictures anyway). There was a small zoo there as well, but I didn’t see a lot of animals. By this time, it was getting late and I was tired. I headed back to the hostel where I was invited to join Elinor, her sister and some friends for Mama Mia (the film).

Jaq resting on another milestone...

At first I wasn’t going to go, instead I was going to stay home and write, but then I realized my new mantra (which I actually clarified the next night at dinner, but that will be in a different post, I’m sure) which is “Don’t let the writing get in the way of the experience.” So I went. The movie was fine (we’re not going to talk about Pierce Brosnan’s singing) but the best part was going to the candy store beforehand and picking out a bagful of what my friend Malin calls “Sneeze Candy.” It looks like American candy, but it’s not (It’s snot? I don’t think that’s what she means, but you guys would never forgive me if I let the joke slide). What it was, though, was a surprise in every mouthful. I’d reach into my bag in the middle of the movie, grab what I thought was chocolate but instead was a weird flavored thing. Or the chocolate which should have had a nice creamy center and instead was filled with something disgusting (and don’t worry Bailey and Riley, I have a feeling I’m gonna bring some Swedish candy home for you guys!).

After the movie we went out for a quick drink at this great little outdoor pub which overlooked the harbor, but we made it a relatively early night. I still had many places on my card left to see.

Pulling into Stockholm I was exhausted and excited. And an hour ahead. We gained an hour somewhere in the waterway between here and Finland. Pretty cool if you ask me. So I’d prebooked my Hostel, as I am want to do, and, armed with directions, I set about to find the place. Of course, the directions they proffer are from the central train station, not from the Ferry port, so I first need to make my way there. I do this, with a 20 kilo bag on my back. At the train station, I then find the bus which is going to take me towards the hostel. Not the easiest thing in the world, considering the size of the Stockholm train station, but find it I must so find it I do (I don’t know why I’m talking like this, except I’ve been grading papers all day and I feel the need for some pomposity). Anyway… I get to the hostel (two hours early) drop my bags and grab a map to go off and explore the day. As I look at the map to orient myself, I discover, much to my chagrin, the ferry port, where I entered this fair city 90-120 minutes earlier, is a ten minute walk from where I now stood.

That’s right… all I had to do was climb some stair and walk 50 meters and bang, hostel front door. Oh well, as has been pointed out, the European food is agreeing with me so the extra bit of exercise couldn’t hurt. Well, now I’m armed with a map and a very friendly hostel employee, Elinor, has directed me to a local movie theatre (Batman just opened here and I was dying!) so I head off.

The Gates to Old Town

The first piece of art I see in the beautiful city is a weird little man thumbing his nose at the world. How could I not love this

I don't know art but I know what I like...

place? I make my way to the Old Town, via the main shopping street where I find the first science fiction bookstore I’ve seen in Europe, and head towards the opera house. Right in front of the Opera is the launch point for a bus and boat city tour I had decided to take. I got there a little early (well, depend on how you look

My People!

at it – I missed the 10:30 departure and the 12:30 was still 90 minutes away), bought my ticket and went for a wander. I discovered that I had come to Stockholm right in the middle of Pride Festival! There were rainbow flags everywhere! Now, this wouldn’t be so bad, except it explained why my hostel was so freaking expensive! It also explained some of the weird window displays I’d been seeing.

I also had a nice look at the river and the palace, checked out where the Nobel museum was and even walked through the free part of the dance museum (odd place, it really was the ballet/ethnic dance museum). By that time, the bus was ready to be boarded (is that passive construction?) and I saw a good number of

Look at the flags

interesting sights. Mostly, though, it was a lay of the land kind of deal where I saw some of the things I wanted to go back and see again when I had more time and energy. The boat portion of the trip, while pretty, was kind of a waste of time. Not a whole lot of historical information (the lunch

View from the back of the boat

I’d gotten as part of my tour wasn’t enough to feed a super model) and we spent more time waiting for locks to open and close than we did actually seeing sights. Ah well. You live and learn, right?

On the boat, though, I did have a lovely conversation with a couple from back east in the states. Their daughter was over for some sort of martial arts competition/camp thing and they decided to come out and cheer her on. That’s me, though, huh? I can meet and talk

Right in the middle is one of the original Absolut Vodka Barrels

to anyone, anywhere. Certainly makes serendipity more frequent.

Afterwards, I went to the palace and while I was in line to buy tickets, I found out about the “Stockholm Card.” A number of European cities have these things – they’re like all access passes to the museums and public transportation. You can get them for a various number of days and in the past, it never seemed to be worth it, but for some reason, Stockholm called out to me. So I bought the three day card and then wondered what to do with myself. Now, you might think that

A palace guard

since I had this card, I would just start tearing through museums and riding willy nilly on the local busses and subways, right? Wrong. See, it’s good for 72 hours from the first use and I figured that if I didn’t use it the day I bought it, I would still be good for transport on my last day. So, card in hand, I walked to the movie theatre and watched Batman (which I will be seeing again back in Vegas) then headed to the hostel for some well deserved sleep.

Was thinking about this place for breakfast...

So I got up bright and early and headed down to Turku on the 6:22 train. The idea was to spend the day in Turku and then hop on the ferry to Stockholm. As plans went, it was a pretty good one. I said good bye to Antti and Tiina and got aboard. I’m gonna miss them.  For as much as they complained about Vaasa being a small, boring village, I had an absolute blast there.

Oh yeah, I should probably tell you that in Finnish, my name would be Jakke (pronounced something like Yakea) but I chose a Finnish name for myself, Pelle, which means “clown.” So when Tiina has kids, I’ll be seta Pelle (Uncle Clown). I like that.

Anyway, I try to write on the train, get a little bit done, then promptly fall asleep. Not a bad thing, really, but there you have it. A few hours later, we pull into Turku, a port city, and I set out to find the port. Of course, in order to get to the port, one must first walk to the town center and take a bus. The thing with European towns, almost no matter the size (as long as they are actually towns or cities or villages and not a small collection of homes along a main road), is that they all have a town center. Anywhere you go, if you follow signs, maps, old women on the street, and ask for “Centrum” you will go to the main area and from there, you can get almost anywhere else you need to be. Kinda convenient and completely unlike any of the places I’ve ever lived (besides, perhaps, Salt Lake City, but I don’t really count that – not going back to Utah). So I’m in the Center, I catch a bus to the Viking Line terminal and buy a ticket for the evening’s ferry. I have a choice here. I can get a cabin for something like 190 Euro or just a ticket for 40. I get the ticket. I drop my big bag and wait for the bus back to town. While I’m waiting, I see this big brick building, but think nothing of it. It isn’t until I’m on the bus and ask that I discover the brick building is the Turku Castle, which,

Turku Castle

I’m told, is the ONE thing I must see. But, I figure, it’s by the port so I’ll catch it on the way back.

So I take the bus back to the center, where there’s an information office, grab a map of the area, find some quick food for lunch and head to the library to do a quick email check (and take care of my class). The library in Southern Finland is quite nice! They have an art display up of rock and roll photos which is very cool. Naturally, though, I pick the seat next to the Tourette’s sufferer who keeps shouting (not obscenities, but just grunts and wordless outbursts. Makes getting anything done slightly difficult. I felt like a character in “Harrison Bergeron.” Finally I decide to just wander back towards the ferry dock, going along the channel

Sculpture along the channel

and stopping by the castle before boarding the boat for the night.

Turku is a pretty place, but I certainly didn’t get any type of feel for it as a town. I’d met a German girl in Helsinki (gotta love the international-ness of Europe, huh) who was working there as a nanny and said it was great, but I didn’t have the time to really hit more than the highlights. But

I love tall ships

those I did hit. Along the water there was a small craft faire which had some nice stuff (mom, you would have loved some of the wooden utensils) and some scenery. I checked my map and guide book to make sure of opening times for the castle and knew I was going to make it in plenty of time.

It’s a very well preserved castle, too. Huge, with a working chapel. I took the guided tour, which provided a bit of history, and then had a wander around on my own. There were two parts of the building, one part, the older looking, typical castle-like structure, was restored to various periods of time. The upper floors were

Chapel inside the Castle

medieval while the lower floors were later. Both were time periods when the castle was in use, so it made sense. In the other part, though, the more livable area, was set up in various dioramas of a mix of

St. George and the Dragon iside the Castle

archaeological restoration of the ancient dwellers of the area and the inhabitants circa 1890s. Weird.

Afterwards, I still had time so I went to the maritime museum as well. This also was done in two parts. The first part was mostly old boats set up like those boat shoes they have at the convention center. The kind I used to love to go to when I was little and could dream about how cool it would

Boat show

be to live on a boat. This was before I realized how absolutely sea sick I get. The second part was various rooms, each with a little bit about the maritime history of Turku or Finland, including a room devote to outboard motors and one for shipwrecks and disasters.

I'm helping!

By the time I finished there, it was time to grab a bite to eat then get ready for the ferry, which was late anyway. We boarded an hour late and took off fairly quickly, heading for Stockholm. Now here’s the problem with not booking a cabin: you have to sleep wherever you can. So I ended up on a bench in the bar. I’d scoped it out earlier as being one of the few places where there was an outlet for the computer and when I started getting tired, I just packed everything up, used my backpack as a pillow and crashed out. Not the most comfortable night I’ve had on this trip, that’s for sure. Add to that, we lost an hour coming over to Sweden and it made

The room of outboard motors...

for a fairly miserable voyage. But hey, when I woke up, we were in Stockholm, the capitol of Scandinavia!

I’m SO embarrassed. How could I have forgotten, in the excitement that was Berny’s, the clock on the wall, the piece de résistance, which ran backwards? Ah well… I’ll fix it in post. Maybe. Anyway… after the exciting events that were The Bridge, what else was there to do but eat dinner? We went to a little Italian place called Rosso. It was a fun place and while the service

At the Italian Restauraunt

wasn’t great, there was some nice eye candy for Jussi and I (we think one of the girls may have been Berny’s other daughter, who escaped to the mainland and was starting her own business). There was also a great conversation between Jussi and the waiter about the cost of ice in a drink – which sounds funny but in some of the places I visited, it could be absolutely real! As it was, there was a lot of laughter and in the end, Jussi wasn’t charged for the ice.

The next day Tiina and I again headed to the mall, did a little bit of shopping, had a chocolate dipped…something… which didn’t deserve the adjective chocolate dipped then met up with Antti.

Weird Finnish door knockers

He was tired so he went home for a nap while Tiina and I took the car and took in more of the sites of Vaasa (like the university library) then went home to prepare for the evening’s guests. See Tiina and Antti have some friends who were working with a group of foreign students who were on an exchange program to study Finnish. The idea was for three of these students to come over and speak Finnish for an evening to kinda get the conversational thing going. This was all well and good, but for the fact that Finns don’t really talk. Remember when I told you about me in the elevator? Yeah, it’s like that.

So the students show up and Finnish starts being flung. I am as useless as a Prague train station attendant in this conversation so I politely head up stairs to write. After I do a little blogging, I go back downstairs amidst huge lulls in the conversation and, being me, I fill them. So after an hour of speaking Finnish, we all spent the next two hours speaking English and talking American politics (and I extolled the virtues of a day trip to The Bridge).

Wednesday, though, Wednesday was the day for Powerland!

The wonder that is Powerland

Powerland is an independently owned amusement park, located in the middle of nowhere, built because the guy who owns it wanted his own park. It’s the largest park in the area and is a mix of the parks we’d been to already. So again, Antti had to work so it was me and Tiina going for rides and adventures. Antti would join us later. Of course, since we had to drive Antti to work so we could have the car, this meant we were WAY early for the park. So we went for breakfast to this little golf resort where everyone thought we were on our honeymoon (since, evidently, that’s the only reason a young couple would be in a place like this) then, since we still had some time, we went and visited Tiina’s parents.

They were just delightful and didn’t speak a word of English (okay, not exactly true, they could follow along slightly but not a whole lot). And, being a mom, Tiina’s had to make us breakfast. Remember, we’d just come from a buffet where we ate our fill, and now we were being plied with ice cream and fresh strawberries and coffee… I was so stuffed I nearly rolled out of the place.

And then, finally, we got to the park. Inside, there were different sections, like an Old West area (and let me tell you, there is nothing more bizarre than seeing a statue of a John Wayne style cowboy speaking Finnish in an obviously John Wayne accent.) and a modern army area and…well…it wasn’t really that defined. I say army but that’s just because in the middle of a stretch of

Tiina

walkway there was a military vehicle for no apparent reason. It seems the guy who built this place just does stuff because he wants to. And why not, it’s his money, he can do as he pleases, right?

Tiina is a roller coaster girl so we immediately head off to big, scary looking contraption called Cobra or something like that. It’s one of those that pulls you back into a completely vertical position, lets you go, send you through loops and boomerangs and stuff and you end up again in a completely vertical position, only this time, facing the wrong way – so you have to do the whole thing again backwards! Sweet! Of course, as we sat down in the car, the safety restraint didn’t want to lock in right away so I was looking quite panicky, much to the amusement of the people waiting behind us in line.

Needless to say, I survived – and had a good time. Remember that phrase, though, because there are times fast approaching when that was not the case. From there we went to a great Wooden coaster which again, had no really discernible theme and yet,

"Why did I travel for this?"

for some inexplicable reason, amidst the wood and old-tyme look, had a big red, white and blue banner proclaiming Las Vegas! Your guess is as good as mine. This was one of the best wooden coasters I’d been on in a long time! It had some really nice curves, a couple of moments of airtime

Wooden coasters are cool!

and drop which Ghost Rider at Knott’s Berry Farm couldn’t touch (You hear me Bailey? This is one you would have loved! If we’re ever in Finland, I’m bringing you here).

So now, two big coasters down, we’re deciding what to do next. I’ve already explained I don’t do the spinny rides since I get sick. Not scared, mind you, but physically ill. My stomach just can’t handle it (although according to Mythbusters ginger helps, so next time I go to an amusement park, I get ginger pills first!). I suggest the really lovely Ferris Wheel, thinking that might be a fun way to see the park and have a

Doesn't his look like fun...

bit of a relaxing break. Tiina, on the other hand, thinks the Booster is the way to go. Let me explain

Booster!

the Booster: hell on a spindle arm! The idea here is that you have two sets of freely spinning seats on either end of a rotating arm. As the arm turns around a central access, the seats describe a circle and rotate around their own access, so as they are coming over the top of the big arc, they might still be somewhere near the bottom of their own arc. Does that make sense? Watch the video if you don’t get it. I am SO not 100% about this one, but Tiina assures me it’s not as bad as the spinny ones, so, reluctantly, I agree. We get on and get to the top and the big arm starts to spin. It’s not that bad.

Then it gets faster. And the seats can’t keep up with the larger rotation so all of a sudden, there are counter-rotations at work. I close my eyes and start to breathe through my mouth. This is not going well. I don’t mind the heading straight for the ground part, like I said, fear is not a concern, but my tummy is topsy-turvey. Even writing this I can feel myself start to sweat. On the ride,

A stable view from up high

I could feel disaster brewing. I knew I had about three more rotations in me before I gave up the ghost (and that lovely breakfast).

One rotation down and I had cold sweats. But it was breaking. Slowing. By the time of the second rotation of my countdown, we came to a stop at the top of the arc, swinging lightly in the breeze. I felt whiter than a Laplander at the beach but Tiina…Tiina was

We finally made it to the Ferris Wheel

giggling like a school girl, ready to go again. I sat there (I couldn’t go anywhere else) and just tried to catch my breath. By the time we got down, we had to go and pick up Antti. He needed the car for a client errand. We got him, he dropped us back at the park and then made plans to meet us a bit later.

Food was in order now, whatever energy I’d saved from breakfast had been expended by the Booster so we tried to find a place to eat. This was the longest line in the park. No matter where we went, it was an hour wait for bad amusement park food. In the end, we had expensive burgers and were pretty tired of being there.

Before we left, though, we went over to the go kart track for a look-see. These are not your father’s go-karts. These are

Gokart shadows

quasi-professional deals, with some serious speed and helmets required. Unfortunately, they were not included in our park pass ticket so we just stood on the sidelines and watched. Then Antti had a surprise for us: Tickets to a Girls Finnish Baseball game!

Finnish Baseball is completely and utterly unlike American Baseball in almost every respect except for the fact you hit a ball with a bat and you run to a base. I can’t even attempt to explain it. The pitcher stands to the side of the batter and throws the ball straight up. The batter hits it and then runs to a base, but the bases are set in a zig zag pattern and not in a diamond and everyone bats and you’re not out if a fly ball is caught and…and…and…and we only stayed two innings. I tried to get into the spirit of things, rooting for our team, but I only ended up pissing off a guy in front of us who moved after a few minutes of my raucous applause. Oh well.

Afterwards, on the way home, we stopped by Antti’s parents summer place where I met them and turned myself into an American

Antti's folks with Tiina and Antti

delicacy for the mosquitoes. Then it was back to the apartment for a quick sauna (only the three of us and yes, the boys were nekkid) some laundry and packing for Turku the next day.

I wasn’t sure what could top our evening spent watching the Finnish Navy so it was with great trepidation I awoke the next day. I wondered: What more could Vaasa have in store?

Well… The day itself was an ordinary day. Tiina and I headed to the mall where we went book shopping (we found, after being told it didn’t exist in the store, a Finnish copy of Alice in Wonderland but it was rather pricey and heavy so I didn’t get it) and then we went to lunch at a place called Amarillo. That’s right, I went all the way to central coastal Finland to have Tex-Mex! Wasn’t bad, either. But you’d really be amazed at how much Americanization is taking place all over Europe. As much as our politics and leaders are reviled, deep down, it seems like the American Business Model is the standard by which everything else is set. We make money and that’s a good thing. There’s some interesting stuff going on in the Eastern Bloc with communism and how it’s killed the drive and ambition of the citizens.

Anyway, lunch was good and then we met up with Antti and Jussi. It was raining out and we didn’t know what we were going to do. Then someone mentioned The Bridge.

You remember the bridge, right? We saw it on the expensive boat ride to the bar – the largest bridge in Finland (which, in a country of 60,000 lakes and waterways and stuff, is nothing to sneeze at). Yeah, that bridge. So the story behind the bridge is that it connects the mainland with a large island (the other side of which is only about 30-40 kilometers away from Sweden). There used to be a ferry which covered the distance but an assemblyman or some other sort of well to do politico who lived on said island didn’t want to wait for the ferry so he did whatever it is politicians do and voila (which is French…er…Freedom, not Finnsh) a bridge was built.

Finding the bridge can pose a slight problem if you don’t have a GPS… or eyes, really. There’s only one road out of town and

The Bridge looms

that road leads right over the bridge. Honestly, you can’t miss it, even in the rain. You don’t even have to worry about looking for landmarks in the Finnish countryside because, as Antti will tell you, there are none. There’s trees and… trees. It looks like Alaska or Northern Canada (ironic, really, since they are both at the same latitude).

So, there we were, four wet people in a car and we’re driving over a bridge. We’re also getting hungry. Being the American (and yes, I’ve used the phrase “In America, a 100 years is a long time and in Europe, 100 miles is a long way” so many times I’m thinking of having it tattooed on my belly and just lifting my shirt at the appropriate time), I ask about the Ferry to Sweden. My thought is that we can maybe hop across the Gulf of Bothinia (which, I’ll admit, I just looked up) and grab a bite then come back. After all, we are going across the bridge so why not go all the way? Nope, I’m informed the ferry doesn’t run that often from here and what

A ghost ship in the fog...

am I, crazy? Fair enough.

By now, we are approaching the bridge. The rain is coming down in buckets, it’s hard for the car’s windshield wipers to clear it fast enough. Being the tourist (different, yet similar, to being the American) I whip out my camera to take a picture, timing it so I catch in between wipes when Antti stops the car in the middle of the road.

“There’s no one else here, we can stop for a picture,” he says. So I take my picture and we continue on. The bridge is looming ahead of us, coming out of the fog like a ghost ship in a John Carpenter movie. When we finally get on the bridge, there’s

Closer now...

nothing to be seen on either side, the rain is too thick.

We drive on.

There it is, The first support tower… then the second. Then dry land. We’re off the bridge and on the island! We all breathe a sigh of relief. I think we’re all feeling a bit like the cast of Scooby Doo and we’ve just escaped from Zombie Island (although in that scenario, Antti would be Fred, Tiina would be Daphne, Jussi would be Shaggy which makes me… Velma – strike that analogy, I’ll come up with a better one soon). Once across, we all look at each other. What now? What great adventures await on the other side of the bridge?

About two kilometers further, Antti sees something we don’t and turns the car sharply onto a side street. What’s this? We’re in Europe after all. Maybe there’s a castle, a church, the home of the assemblyman who built the bridge? The car keeps turning like Linda Blair’s head. It completes the cycle, having gone a full 180 degrees before straightening out. What’s this? What’s happening?

“Well, that’s the bridge, nothing else to see here, let’s go back and eat.”

NO… that can’t be the end of our bridge adventure! I haven’t taken nearly enough photos for my blog I complain (that’s a post modern device, being self-referential like that) so we stop at a gas station to get a good look at a map and figure out exactly where

The Map... where are we...?

we are in relation to the rest of Finland. I admit, I was hoping for a Stephen King moment where the “you are here” arrow pointed to somewhere in the middle of the water or something but no, it showed us exactly where we were, the bridge looming big just next us.

We continue on…As we approach the bridge again, something draws our attention, something we had seen on the outbound journey but now seemed more ominous. Berny’s… a diner located under the bridge. No one in the car had ever been there, just heard the rumours, whispered silently around town. We lamented the rain for it might have been a good place to stop if only it were open… but then, maybe not. Who knows what lurks at Berny’s? Were we the crazy kids to stop him from getting away with it? I didn’t know if we should find out.

Outside Berny's - Art? or a warning?

We got closer. There was a car in the parking lot. Two. Through the fog we could make out several vehicles. “Let’s stop,” someone called out (it might have been me, it might have been Jussi – either way we wondered if it was a decision we would regret. Antti deftly maneuvered the car amongst the others and found a spot near the water front. I knew we couldn’t all be crazy since there, just outside the driver’s side window, standing in the pouring rain, was a man with a camera, pointing his lens into the fog. Was this the future we were seeing? Was this some sort of vision of me, coming back to warn myself not to get out of the car? Was it just another daft tourist?

We opened our doors slowly, waiting for the right moment, then ran like demons through the downpour, hoping the door wasn’t locked. It wasn’t. Inside the building was lit with hideous

Pretty sure this one is art...

fluorescents, accenting every flaw. The patrons already in looked at us suspiciously. If this were the UK I would have expected them to warn us to stay on the path and not go into the moors. As it was summertime in Finland, they just ignored us, but they did it ominously! There were a few open tables, so we grabbed one, hoping to get some food. It wasn’t THAT kind of a place. Sure, there was an actual restaurant, but it was long closed (about an hour at that point) so we were left with the café, coffee and danishes. Tiina had a dessert pancake. We assumed the girl behind the counter was Berny’s daughter. “Is she on the menu,” wondered

The Scooby Gang

Jussi.

In the end, we left with our sanity intact and only some wet clothes and photographs to show for our passing. I looked behind us as we once again crossed the bridge and watched as Berny’s disappeared into the rain soaked night. Had it really ever existed at all? Only time will tell…

The Bridge in reverse...

The way my time in Europe has been going, I just roll with the adventures. If someone or something comes along and suggests something, unless there’s a reason, I go with it. With Tiina and Antti, they had several things they wanted to show and do so I put myself in their hands and let myself see a Vaasa I’m sure very few others get to see.

With that in mind, on Sunday, Antti had gotten ticket the Housing Exhibition. Of course, when he said this, my first thought was “home and garden show.” And while I wasn’t terribly excited, they seemed to be so I put on my game face and we headed out.

Turns out, the Housing Exhibition is a home and garden show re-envisioned by Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor. It’s held every year somewhere in Finland and this year happened to be Vaasa’s turn. The city hosting usually works on it for several years prior

Heading in to the Exhibition

because what they end up doing is actually building a neighborhood! All the different housing developers in the country each build a house and fill it with state of the art products (I saw a toilet with a control panel Mr. Spock would have had trouble figuring out - thankfully the button for ‘enema’ was in English!). You’ve heard of concept cars? These were concept houses. It was impressive, except the penthouse on top of a 6 story apartment building which looked like it hadn’t been started yet. This was also a place where I discovered a difference between me and the Finns. Of course, when I say “me” I’m actually referring to ME not to Americans in general. Yeah, I got yelled at by Antti because as we were coming down in the elevator after looking at this unfinished mess of a construction site (and had queued for the priveledge) I said something to the other people in the elevator about being disappointed. They kinda mumbled something back. Now, you all

look at the name - made me laugh

know me (and if you don’t, you will after reading all the entries herein) and I’ll strike up a conversation with anyone at anytime but when we got off the elevator and were alone Antti explained that in Finland, “we don’t talk to other people.” I knew they didn’t talk to other people in the winter time, but this was summer, right? So no more talking to other people (for the day – I can’t NOT talk to people). The three of us, though, since we already knew each other, had some great conversations about housing (and windows since Antti’s company supplied a number of the homes’ windows and doors) and the Finnish market, paid entirely too much for parking and then Tiina had an idea for what to do next. After lunch she wanted to take a cruise around the archipelago.

Tiina and Antti on the boat

See, Vaasa, and the western portion of Finland, is part of a huge island chain called an archipelago and there was a cruise which took you through some of the prettier parts and then to a small bar only accessible by boat (are you getting the impression the Finns take their water sports

A fine summer day in Finland...

seriously?). I thought it sounded great so off we went.

The ride itself was slightly uneventful. We did see the largest bridge in Finland (which I only mention to get it into your heads – it will come back in another adventure) and some fantastic scenery. There was only one time, though, that the captain said anything (a bit of trivia) and then the stop at the bar was an hour and twenty minutes. Thirteen Euro for a trip to a bar seemed a little steep to me, but it was still fun and I got some great pictures out of it. The payoff,

self portrait with anchor

though, came when we were almost back to port.

In the distance, a Finnish naval ship appeared and started heading in our direction. Naturally, everyone took pictures and pondered it as a curiosity object. After we docked, though, the ship came closer, eventually pulling in directly behind the ship we’d just come off. Even though we had to try and get to the store to get food, we stayed and watched the circus that is the navy docking a ship.

Now don’t get me wrong. I fully respect the boys in the military and I support the job they do, but these guys were hysterical. They come into the pier all formal, everyone standing at parade rest as the ship comes to stop. Then

The Finnish Navy

the docking crews get to work. Everyone has a job to do and boy, do they set about doing it. First you’ve got the guys tying the boat down. It takes two or three guys per station (thick, heavy rope here) but even then they don’t get it right and have to untie it once or twice before it’s made fast.

But the best part was the barricade. A side hatch opens and a couple of guys emerge carrying flat, rubber octagons with circular holes in the middle. The proceed to walk the length of the ship, casually tossing these things down as they go. We, of course, are watching in rapt attention. What are these and what are they for? One of our answers comes when the guys disappear back into the hold of the ship and re-emerge with orange poles which, it so happens, fit right into the circular holes. Ahhh… we say. They’re going to put up some sort of barricade (which naturally leads to speculation about who they could possibly be carrying on board). Then they start lining up the poles and the rubber bases. There’s a guy at one end of this row of about 15 poles and he’s directing the guy at the other end (about 50 meters away) which way to nudge the pole until it lines up. I look down at the surface they are working on and immediately realize they have a tiling pattern and really, all they have

Me and the boys...

to do is start at one end and follow the straight line of the paving bricks and it’d be done in 30 second.

But nope. Why do it easy when you can do it hard. We couldn’t take too much of this so we left before they had finished. We never did find out who the special cargo was. Any guessed? Best answer gets a special postcard.

My time in Vaasa started in Tampere, Finland’s 3^rd or 4^th largest (and fastest growing) city. It is a two hour train ride from Helsinki and I stepped onto the platform and immediately spotted Tiina. I was worried about that. I mean, I had spent just a couple of hours with Tiina and Antti and that was several days before, so I was nervous about recognition. I shouldn’t have been. I saw her, called her name (which I almost never pronounced exactly right) and then we met up with Antti, who was at the other end of the platform.

After quick hellos, I was informed we had a busy day planned. See, they live in Vaasa, which is about 3 hours away from Tampere, they just happened to be there for Antti’s work (despite having a degree in marketing, right now he’s selling windows and doors and doing quite well at it) and visiting Tiina’s sister who lives there. Of course, the trip to Vaasa was not the first item on our list. Oh no, our first stop was Sarkanniemi, an amusement park a few minutes from the train station.

Sarkanniemi is the amusement park version of San Francisco’s Palace of Fine Art. It has everything you could possibly want from an amusement park. In addition to adult roller coasters, there were kiddies rides, an observation tower with rotating restaurant,

Jumping Dolphin

aquarium, planetarium and a dolphin show, which was our first stop. Oh yeah, did I mention we didn’t have to pay to get in (okay, two of us didn’t) since Tiina works for another amusement park called Wasalandia and they have an agreement giving employees two free passes. So she and I got the wrist bands and Antti just bought a ticket for the dolphin show but was able to walk the rest of the park with us.

The dolphin show was really a lot of fun. It was inside (remember, in the wintertime, this place gets very cold, dark and snowy) and, unlike American dolphin shows, really just focused on the tricks the dolphins can do, including high jumps, jumps through hoops and juggling (Yup, the dolphin and trainer did a two mammal juggling routine).

From the dolphin show, we went up the tower so I could get a nice overview of the town (city? I t was too big to be a village but

View from up top

then I’m really not clear where the distinction lies – where does a hamlet become a village become a town become a city become New York?) It’s lovely. Even though I really never saw more than the park and train station from ground level, Tampere has the kind of feel of a place you could live (and Iron Maiden was playing there THAT night so you know they get the big concerts!). Back on the ground, Tiina and I hit a couple of coasters while Antti waited. The first was a decent suspended job with a loop and a nice tunnel but the second, Trombi, was one where you were suspended in a horizontal position, like you were flying. It was awesome! I’d been so excited by watching the people get on and off and seeing how the ride positioned you that I completely missed the part of the ride itself where you spin upside down…until I was on the ride and doing it. It’s been a while since I was surprised by a coaster.

Once it started raining, though, we figured we should make the long drive back to Vaasa. We made it in good time, with only a

The Finnish Countryside

couple of stops along the way, including one at Hesburger (a fast food chain trying to horn in on McDonald’s action and producing better food to do it – with the burgers. Nothing beats the American Mickey D’s fries). In Vaasa, before we made it to the apartment, we made a stop at Wasalandia. That night there was a big rock festival in Vaasa (for those who couldn’t get tickets to the Iron Maiden concert in Tampere) and Tiina had a couple of free tickets in her office at work, so we had to stop by there. Of course, by the time we arrived, it was near closing so the place was nearly deserted.

me, Antti and Tiina on the log ride at Wasalandia

Wasalandia is a kid’s park. It is designed for the pre-teen set and let me tell you, if Bailey and Riley had been with me, it would have been hard to get them to leave. All of the rides, even the big, exciting ones, are kid size. We jumped on a log ride (I don’t remember what their version was called) and I got wet sitting in front (and no, it didn’t matter it was kid sized, the flume still scared me). Then Tiina grabbed the tickets and we finally made it back to the apartment to unload my bags and to continue the Finnish experience.

Let’s talk about the Finnish experience, huh? I learned quite a bit about Finland (Suomi) in the few days I spent there. And one of the things I learned was that all Fins enjoy their sauna (pronounced sow-na). So when we got my bags upstairs, Antti came in and said it was time for sauna and we would be meeting some friends there (it was in a different part of the apartment complex). Then he handed me a towel and told me sauna was done naked and you get beaten with a thing called a “bath whisk,” which was made from the leaves and branches of a tree in the yard.

Of course, I think Antti is pulling my leg (and, as my friend Tom says, “be thankful that’s the only thing he’s pulling”) but hey, I’m willing to risk it. So I grab the towel and wrap it around my naked body, throw on a borrowed pair of crocs and head out into the Finnish evening (okay, it’s about 8pm and it’s bright as midday – longitude wise we’re closer to the arctic circle than we are the Canadian border). Antti is wearing a robe so I’m still not certain he’s going to be bearing it all and Tiina has a bikini on under her towel and I don’t know if that’s coming off, but I have no recourse. I’ve left the house in nothing but borrowed linen. I start to feel better when we get to the sauna and I see three guys sitting outside, also wearing towels. They smile warmly when we walk up and greetings are exchanged. I am introduced to two of Antti’s oldest friends, Jussi and Vesa and Vesa’s friend Peltsi. Again, I don’t know what’s under their towels, but I’m starting to feel a little better about this. After introductions, we go and rip branches off the tree to make the “bath whisk” (evidently, this is being done in my honor and is not a normal part of their itinerary – not that it’s not done, just not every time). So, branches in hand, we head into the sauna. In the ante room, where there are hooks for towels, towels start getting hung up and guess what? everyone is just a little bit naked (except Tiina, who does, in fact, stay in her bikini). Suddenly, I feel like I’m back in 7^th grade gym class. But I dutifully hang up my towel and gamely walk into the dark sauna.

It’s freaking hot in there!

80 degrees Celsius (Bailey, Riley, can one of you do the math and figure out how hot that is in Farenheit?) and it is NOT a dry heat. Nope, that’s the entire point of a sauna. In fact, there’s a big box of rocks and someone has thoughtfully brought a bucket of water which gets splashed on the rocks, sending gales of steam into the room (which is closed, trapping the heat inside). I describe this for the benefit of anyone who has never been in a sauna. In other cultures, this process might be referred to as “taking a sweat” or “having a schvitz.” It really doesn’t matter how you cut it, you sweat a lot and while it does clean out your pores and your sinuses, it’s not something you can do for long stretches of time (which is why the other guys were outside

Peltsi, Vesa, Antti and Jussi at the festival (sorry, no pictures from the sauna)

when we walked up). I’m feeling the pinch after a few minutes but Vesa, who looks like Dana Carvey’s cool younger brother, has proclaimed the first to leave has to buy beer for the rest of the night. Now, I’m not taking any risks. I wasn’t sure about the whole naked thing and that proved true so I wasn’t about to be the first out the door. Oh yeah, and lest I forget, there was indeed beatings with the “whisk.” I hate to admit it, but it actually felt good. If those religious fanatics where beating themselves in a sauna, I can kinda see the attraction.

After an hour or so (and four trips in and out of the heat) it’s time for bed – wait what? Not bed? I’ve been up for 14 hours, been to two amusement parks, a two hour train ride, three hour car ride and been naked with five almost complete strangers. I’d say I’d had a pretty full day already. But no. Remember those rock festival tickets we went to Wasalandia to pick up? They were for tonight. So we all dry off and pile into Antti’s car and head over to the festival grounds.

The only problem is that Tiina only has two tickets and there’s six of us. A decision is made, in Finnish, that Tiina and I are the ones going in and the rest will stay out in the field and drink. Ironically, there are more people outside than in. It’s been a while

My rock and roll attitude

since I’ve been to a festival so I don’t know if that’s normal or not, but out in front of the gates was where the party was happening. It may have something to do with the fact that Yngwie Malmsteen was the headliner (and if you don’t know who he is, be proud of yourself). The only other person on the bill I’d heard of was a guy named Tony Carey who used to be in a band called Planet P (and yes, I have two of his songs on my iPod). We got there as he was playing and Tiina and I walked into the tent just in time to hear him do one of the songs I knew. We stayed through a bitch session at the crowd and bad cover of a blues song before we decided to get back to our friends.

Somewhere in the course of conversation outside, it comes out that Peltsi actually wanted to see Yngwie. If he’d said something earlier, we would have given him a ticket and he could have exchanged it for the wristband which actually gets you inside. Unfortunately, those bands were now snug on my and Tiina’s wrists. Not for long if I and Vesa have anything to say about it. He and I spend the next ten minutes trying to get this thing free and after a fight that would’ve made Hemingway proud, we succeeded. Peltsi didn’t have as much trouble slipping it on his wrist and he went in to hear his guitar hero play.

And the night still wasn’t over! Before we finally made it home, we went out for late night pizza and a trip to Antti’s sister’s house (and we picked up a second Tiina, so now we had seven people in the car – yeah, I was reliving high school). It was an amazing night…and that was only day one in Vaasa. I was afraid of what the next few days were going to bring.

Bic Mac Economics

Friday in Helsinki… Both Tommy and Jennica are at work and then going to an Iron Maiden concert (it was sold out, months ago, in 17 minutes or I would have gone along – approximately 1% of the population of Finland had tickets) so I was pretty much on my own for the day. I figured I was in a world capitol, I might as well do a little exploring. First stop – The Money Museum!

This is a brand new place, just opened. It’s a small museum, but jam packed with information, too much in fact (no pun intended). There’s WAY too much reading for such a small space. It’s fascinating, sure, but after a few minutes, you just get overwhelmed. I would have bought a book to read it all on my own, but they didn’t have one. What they did, have, though, was some serious Jaq validation. That’s right, remember the Big Mac theory from way back in Munich? Well guess what? Some top notch economists had the same theory. So I’m smarter than I thought I was! (of course, when I mentioned this to Jennica and Tommy later that day, they said they had learned about in school and everyone knew the Big Mac theory so I didn’t feel as smart – it was a Flowers For Algernon moment but that’s okay, I still felt validated and you get the pictures.

Zoo sign

From there I did what I always do… I went to the zoo. I really don’t know what my fascination with zoos is, but I feel compelled to check them out. And I should learn better not to go to the zoo in the middle of the afternoon because all the animals are sleeping. I mean once you’ve seen a tiger or a lion crashed out you’ve pretty much seen them all. I’m sure to other lions and tigers there are differences, but to us mere humans, honestly, they look pretty darn similar. So here I go to another zoo. This one, though, is on an island and you have to take a ferry to get there. That’s right, another ferry! And I got the student price, so I saved 5 Euro (Student pricing is weird here. Some places just accept I’m a student, some want to see my ID and will accept or reject it randomly and some won’t accept anything other than an International Student card).

So I get to the zoo, get off the boat and get ready to see the many exotic animals Finland’s largest city has to offer. I get to the first enclosure and look in expectantly. What do I see? Bunny rabbits. They’re cute and all, but I didn’t see a sign proclaiming it feeding time and I certainly don’t know what kind of a critter they’re feeding live bunnies to but hey, maybe they do things

Bunnies at the zoo... who's hungry?

differently in Finland. Then I see it, off in the corner, the sign telling what kind of animals are supposed to be in this enclosure. I walk over, hoping I can read the Finnish or Swedish (both languages are official) to discern the name of the beast. Thankfully, there’s an English language

Rabbits on display

name written in large letters on the bottom – RABBIT.

Yeah, all the way to Finland, further north than anywhere in the contiguous United States, take a ferry to an island and the first animal I come across is the domestic bunny. It’s not even a Reindeeralope (distant cousin of the Jackalope). Nope, just the same little (not even lop-eared) bunny you can get at a regular pet store. My hopes for a decent zoo were diminishing fast.

To be fair, The rest of the zoo was okay. It wasn’t great mind you, but decent. A number of the animals were hidden from view due to the fact it was 2 in the afternoon, and hot for Finnish standards. There was a bear running around and a seal lounging in the shallows of his enclosure. The skunk exhibit had no skunk but an interactive area where the particular scent of the stripped one could be sampled. Being that it was on an island, there were some great picnic areas overlooking the surf and a “bird’s nest” observatory from which one could see over the whole area.

I took the paddlewheel ferry back to the harbor and began heading for home. Since it was still early, I knew no one would be there so I thought I’d walk a bit and explore more of the city. I was trying to find Plague Park but I failed. Instead, I wandered through the esplanade and then through a shopping street and finally found myself in front of the train station. I went in and booked my ticket for the next day to Tampere and then continued on. That was when I found myself walking through the doors of Kiasma, the Helsinki Museum of Modern Art.

It was a funky place (really, would expect less from a modern art museum?) just big enough to let you enjoy it leisurely without being overwhelming. As is the case with any museum, I enjoyed some of the pieces and didn’t understand others. But this is where Kiasma differed from other museums. It knew you weren’t going

The Post it wall

to get it all and turned that into part of the art itself. In two places, there were big bulletin boards covered with post-it notes in all sorts of colors. Pre-printed on the

Post-It Wall (detail)

notes, in several different languages across the top (one language per) were the words “I don’t quite get it…” leaving the rest for you to fill in and add to the wall. I loved it. At the end, when I was leaving, I walked past a display sign covered in little circle stickers with a “K.” These were your admission tickets and the patrons, as they were walking out the door, covered this sign with them, creating a Seurat inspired collage of a piece of Hockney drip art.

Covered in entry stickers

I made it home after I expected to (I got lost on the tram – okay, not on the tram itself, they’re not that big, but on which tram I chose to take), just in time to say goodbye to Jennica and Tommy as they were leaving for Iron Maiden (and may I say, seriously, I haven’t seen so many Iron Maiden shirts around a city since 1985 – this may be good or bad depending on your view of Iron Maiden shirts and/or Helsinki). When they were gone, it left me and Donna home alone together. Oh wait, I’ve completely forgotten to mention Donna

My girl Donna

haven’t I? Donna is Jen and Tommy’s dog, an adorable girl with eyes the size of Montana and sadder than Uncle Uris at a wedding. She and I had a great evening, hanging out and making sandwiches. Yes, I made the sandwiches, but she played me good with those eyes and ended up with more people food than she was probably supposed to have. That’s okay,

that’s what Uncle Jaqs are for, to spoil the little ones.

After the concert, Tommy and Jennica and I went for traditional Finnish late night cuisine (I had the salmon soup) and talked well into the early morning. I got a few

Tommy dropping me off at the train station

hours sleep before Tommy and Donna drove me to the train station so I could go to Tampere and met up with Antti and Tiina and the wonder that is Vaasa.

The ferry to Helsinki was uneventful, save for a very expensive buffet. At one point I tried to find a comfortable place to sit and maybe sleep for a few minutes, but discovered all the good spots were already taken by folks who were already sleeping! That appears to be the thing to do on the early morning crossing. Pulling into the Helsinki harbor, though, I saw the most brilliant

Summer house

thing – a tiny island with a tiny house on it! I found out later this is a traditional summer house and all the Finns either have one of their own or have friends with one so they go there for several days to several weeks in the summer.

I’m learning that Finns tend to spend the winter, dark months living like zombies, annoyed at the world, locked away inside their own places and thoughts. But come summer, they light up like fireworks, enjoying the sunlight, listening to music and generally enjoying each other’s company. It is really, from my understanding, a tale of two worlds.

So anyway, off the boat, heavy pack loaded on and meet Jennica and Tommy at the dock. Jennica, as you’ll recall, I met in Prague and Tommy is her significant other. He had taken the morning off work so they could come get me in the car to take my stuff back to the house and then he was going back to the set (he makes TV/Commercials) and Jennica and I were going to wander.

Which is what we did!

We started out by taking a tram back down to the waterfront and having a traditional Finnish breakfast of meat pies and apple

Jennica at the Rock Church

donuts. The atmosphere reminded me of Café du Monde in New Orleans but the food was certainly different. The meat pies were just that, a pastry filled with a minced meat and spice concoction which was quite tasty, once I got over the fact it wasn’t a donut. The donut, though, was a donut and that was all good. The place we ate was where Jen used to work so we got the royal treatment (and considering the President of Finland, who lives across the street, has eaten there, that’s saying something).

The fountain by the harbor

Afterwards, we did indeed wander. We hit the fountain (yes I made a wish and no, I’m not telling you what it was) which is a central meeting point, we walked up the stairs to a large church and we went through a park called the Esplanade which had statues and monuments for writers and poets! We even went to a museum where, for some inexplicable reason, the exhibits all had something to do with marriage. There was a chupah set up and a chair with a crown on it (I couldn’t resist sitting in the chair and putting the crown on – I’d

King Jaq

already done the chupah thing).

Honestly though, we just wandered and talked. Every now and again Jennica would point out something or I would ask a question, but for the most part it was just hanging out with a friend. We did, however, run into The Pink One (see, I’m not the only one who gives their friends epithets). The Pink One is one of Jennica’s oldest friends and she met us for lunch and then for drinks

The Pink One (like I could resist)

afterwards. A very funny girl! And she was wearing pink (how she got the name to begin with).

I must say, though, there’s this weird fascination in Finland for naming businesses after American cities. We ate lunch at Memphis, had drinks at Texas and passed Amarillo down the street. You never realize how much of your culture is exported until you hear the Friends theme as a ring tone on a cellular phone.

The next day, Jennica had to go to work but we made a plan to meet up at the statue when she was done. This meant I had the day to myself. What did I do? I did what you do in Finland – I got on a boat and went to see a fortress!

The fortress is called Suomienlinna (which is, quite literally, Finland’s Castle). It’s on a series of six islands in the Helsinki harbor and not only does it have a rich and varied history, but it also has the only remaining submarine in the Finnish navy (they had 6 at one point but after WWII had to get rid of them all – I think there were plans to move them to SuomienDisney but in the end

The Vesikko Submarine

they were scrapped). There was also a toy museum on the island, but they didn’t allow pictures. I did, however, buy a card game where you had to collect cards to make a little blonde haired, blue eyed family and the bad card, the “old maid” if you will, was a little black boy. I had to get it.

The castle itself held a distinguished place in Finnish history. It was never finished, it didn’t quite

Re-enactors showing how things used to be...

do what it was supposed to do and in the end, in it’s one major battle, it surrendered. Over the years, though, various governments have owned and operated it, changing the armaments, updating the

Guns on the island

catacombs. Now it’s a UNESCO World Heritage site and a prison (the inmates are used as groundskeepers).

After taking the Ferry back to Helsinki, I met up with Jennica in the Esplanade. We listened to a live band for a few minutes (whose name I really can’t remember and they really weren’t that good) before heading off to meet Tommy and then get fixins for a barbecue that night. On our way, though, we decided to stop for ice cream. Let me stop and take a few minutes to talk about ice cream in Europe…

It’s everywhere! If I get fat over here, that’s why. No matter where you turn, if there is a crowd of people, there is an ice cream stand. Usually, it’s one unit of currency for a single scoop in a waffle cone (i.e. if they have Euro, it’s a Euro or two, if they have crowns it’s a crown, etc…) Sometimes there are more flavors than you’ll know what to do with, sometimes, like in Finland, they have just a few. But anyway you cut it, there is ice cream whenever you want one, and when they’re everywhere, you want one all the time! So Jennica and I wanted an ice cream. We hit the stand and the way the cost breakdown worked you could get one big scoop or two little ones for the same price, We both chose two little ones and then went happily on our way. About now, you’re wondering, why is he telling us about getting an ice cream? Be patient. As we’re leaving the stand, Jen hands me a napkin. I look at her, and she responds by saying “I don’t think you’ll need it or anything…”

Those of you who know me know what’s coming next, don’t you?

Yup. No sooner is the napkin in my hand than the top scoop of ice cream is falling down the front of my shirt while I scramble to catch it before it hits the ground. Which I manage to do. Of course, my jacket is a mess, my hands need the napkin and Jennica is laughing hysterically, but I still have my ice cream!

For another thirty seconds.

I take three more licks (and don’t get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop) and the whole thing goes sailing off the cone, forward so there’s no chance of survival, and into the dirt. My altruistic attitude instantly becomes one of “well, I guess someone doesn’t want me to have any ice cream.” Jennica feels bad, certainly, but she still has hers so we continue on. We get about 50m when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, comes a lokki (that would be Finnish for seagull) who dive bombs her and takes a chunk out of the top of her ice cream. We stop so she can scrap the residue off, lokki are disgusting critters after all, and she is not about to eat where it’s landed. We are both laughing at this point, me without an ice cream and her’s cut down in the prime of its half-eaten life. Basically, we are off our guard. I mean seriously, how much more can happen in once little trip with an ice cream cone?

Turns out lokki are not only disgustingly dirty, they are also incredibly crafty! While that first one distracted us, got us to relax,

Jennica post lokki attack!

its fellows came in on a sneak attack a few minutes later, this time taking out the whole cone, knocking it right out of her hands! Honestly, if they had opened season on lokki right then, Jen would have taken out a dozen with her bare hands. Of course, just to prove the point that they were NOT going to stop us, we went and each of us got another cone (single scoops this time, we might be filled with hubris, but we’re not crazy!)

Continuing on, we made our way through the Plague Park (yes, they have a park named for victims of the plague. The big church in the middle of town? Doom Church. The Finns are not a jolly people, despite the fact Santa allegedly lives in Finnish Lapland) and finally meet up with Tommy. The idea is that we are going to meet up with Jen’s sister then go to her parent’s house (they’re out of town) to get their car and have the

Doom Church

BBQ.

Everything goes smoothly until we get to the house and Jennica realizes she doesn’t have the keys to get in. No worries – quick change of plans. Instead of open flames and outdoor beer, we’re going to go back to Jen’s place and Tommy is going to put his culinary expertise to work. And he does. We have reindeer sausage, some kind of pork filet and a marinated chicken (heavy on the meat here). For dessert, Tommy makes some sort of chocolate/banana concoction which like heaven in a (burnt) peel. Despite never finding the keys, I’d say the evening was a complete success!

Let’s start with a little geography lesson. Tallinn is in Estonia, which is the northernmost of the Baltic States and it is a port city, about 80 kilometers from Helsinki, Finland. It is north of Riga and Vilnius, which are both capitols of the other two Baltic States and all three were, at one time, Russian properties. Okay, got that out of the way. Now, on to my day in Tallinn.

So my first day in Tallinn was quite wet. It was raining, but not a constant downpour nor an annoying, but

A bear in the rain...

manageable drizzle. No, the rain here was more of a hard drip. It was enough to get you wet and keep most people off the streets, but not wet enough to let you feel comfortable staying in the hostel and watching something from their pitifully weak selection of DVDs. So instead, I ended up in a bookstore, writing blog posts. I did also help an American couple figure out Euros as opposed to Estonian Krowns and their relative values. They were in from a cruise ship and somewhere along the line had gotten Euros in their change and it was perplexing them, loudly, to no end. So after about 20 minutes, I offered assistance. It was gratefully accepted and a few minutes later, they left and I was able to continue writing.

When I had written all my posts, I was going to try and upload them, but even though the bookstore had free wifi, I couldn’t access it. Seems the only way to get a password is to text to a certain number then they text you back the code. Everything here is done with mobile phones. These are some high tech folk here. They invented Skype (and they’re very close to Finland, home of Nokia!). So I knew I’d have to upload back at the hostel – I just wasn’t ready to go back. I was hungry.

Tallinn is an interesting place in that it seems fairly new to the tourist game but they are attacking it full force. They have a great old town and are starting to get some tours organized. They also have theme restaurants. So on my way back to the hostel, I stopped in at the Peppersack for dinner. The wait staff was all dressed in medieval garb (I particularly liked the girl with the, I’m sure, period tattoo on her arm) and took a look at the menu. I figured I didn’t do anything exciting today and we’re going to have to have something to write about, so the food it was. I ordered a duck breast in raspberry sauce, which was quite nice and then I saw, right there on the menu, lamprey. A lamprey, for those who don’t know, is a small, eel like creature with lots and lots of teeth and when it attacks, it latches on and sucks your blood out. So what the heck, I figured I’d try it!

You know what, it doesn’t taste like chicken. Nope, it tastes like eel. And I don’t like eel. So I had two of the five pieces and concentrated on my duck, which I finished heartily. Then it was back to the hostel and a night of uploading pictures and starting my online class.

A Tallinn street scene

The next day, though, I went and explored the town. It was sunny and much nicer out. I took a couple of bus tours to all points of the compass, which was good and bad. The bus tours, with headsets in all languages, are fine, and the big selling point, about being able to hop on and hop off at the various stops is cool, except when the bus only comes every 90 minutes! So when I wanted to stop and maybe go up the TV tower

TV Tower

for the view, there was nothing else around and waiting for 90 minutes for another bus? Not so much. So I snapped a few quick shots, heard some stories (like how the Estonians garnered their independence from Russia by singing) and headed back to town. This wasn’t a bad thing since I was supposed to meet Piret, my savior of Sunday night, at Old Hansa at 14:30.

Old Hansa is the original of ye olde tyme food shoppe places in Tallinn. The menus (which I couldn’t afford to buy since they are wrapped in leather and yes, are for sale in the gift shop) are all done up with medieval drawings and all the food is designed as if you were visiting a tavern the king himself might visit. It was great! And since this is a food

Old Hansa

post, I decided to try something I’ve never had before – Bear! It’s a dark meat, a bit gamey, but still quite nice. It was in a lovely sauce. And before that, Piret had

Piret and I

ordered us some appetizer samplers which included jellied tongue (yes, I tried it) and some sort of beef with horseradish sauce. After I finished my bear, Piret and I talked about dessert. She said the apple pastry was to die for but but took 15 minutes to bake and she had to go to a meeting, so if I wanted it, I was on my own.

How could I refuse?

The bear I had for lunch

So I ordered it, said goodbye to my companion and started talking to the couple sitting next to us. Then the dessert came. It was huge and delicious and would have been worth going to Tallinn just for that. I didn’t mean to eat it all, really. I even offered some to my neighbors (after seeing mine, though, they ordered their own) but in the end, I cleaned my plate.

My waitress came over and told me I had eaten the best meal in the house – the best meat dish with the best dessert and there were not many who could do that. So I joked and asked if she could write that out for me, in Estonian, so I could

Me and the wonderful waitress (I never did get her name)

prove it.

A few minutes later she asked if I could hang out for a bit and talk to my neighbors because there was a certificate coming for me. When it finally came, it was brilliant. It says something to the effect of “on this day the great man accomplished what few have been able…” I don’t know exactly since not only is it in Estonian, but it’s in Olde Estonian script, handwritten and (I think) has been embellished. I say I think because when I went to thank the girl who did it, I told her I was going to frame it and she took it back to make it prettier. I haven’t seen the final version since it’s rolled up and carefully packaged.

Me and Veeli, who made my scroll

After that, I toured a bit more, took in some sights and then headed back to pack up. I had an early morning ferry to Helsinki and I didn’t want to be late.