I can’t believe I forgot the best quote from my evening with Emanuel! At some point in the conversation, when we were talking about various cities and I had made mention of the fact that Los Angeles wanted your soul and Las Vegas wanted your money, he said San Francisco (where he was from) wanted your heterosexuality. It didn’t take a lot of detective work on my part to very quickly deduce that he was, in fact, gay. Now, this isn’t a big deal, obviously, but it did lead to the wonderful exchange where I told him it was a shame he was gay since he was missing out on the beauty that is Scandinavian women. At which point I was put in my place with a well-timed “Scandinavian men…mmmm hmmmm!”

Anyway, my last day in Stockholm and I was anxious to get to it. The first thing I wanted to do was get to the money museum, since it had been closed the day before. So I walked down the hill towards the town center, past the weird statue of a hand that I didn’t quite understand, and made my way to the palace. Okay, across from the palace. The museum was actually kinda neat, different than the one in Helsinki in that it didn’t have nearly as much text to read and a bit of a different slant, which is one of the reasons I really wanted to see it. The day before, over in the palace, one of the exhibits, right before the portrait hall, was on the various orders and medals the kings all wear. You know, you’ve seen those portraits and the guy in the tux is covered with sashes which have dangly bits all dripping down, right? That’s how you know he’s the king (contrary to what Monty Python

No... I don't know which order this was for either...

may say). So all those metal dangly bits are various orders the king belongs to and there are hundreds of different ones. I think the Swedes really enjoy their orders because it seems like every monarch created one or changed one or made himself the grand high poobah of one. There’s the order of the sword and the order of the lance and the sword of St. Michael the brave and the Order of St. Bailey the Courageous and the Star of St. Riley the Cute (I’m just using these as examples, aside from that first one I’m not sure any of them actually exist). I was fascinated by these and wanted a book explaining what they all were and how you got them and what the signified and all that but the only book they had was in Swedish (inconsiderate much?) and cost like 700 Kroner (like all Swedes are made of money – although if you got one of these Orders of the House of Fultonduenas medals you could probably afford the book to explain why you got it in the first place). They did tell me, however, that the money museum might have a book such as I was looking for since it was run by the department of engraving which makes the medals to begin with. So I’m excited.

First floor was a nice history of money, lots of displays with information I couldn’t read and thousands of neat looking coins. Second floor, though, we got to the medals and sure enough, there were a bunch. I took a picture of one I’m still trying to figure out. They also had the world’s heaviest coin up there. I lifted it. It was indeed heavy… about 20 kilos! And it’s square. I learned

Biggest. Coin. Ever!

all about square coins and how they are stamped in all four corners to show the various authorizing agencies and then in the middle to show value.

Afterwards, I expectantly hit the gift shop, looking for my book. No luck. They had the same selection as the palace gift shop so I will never know how I can become a member of the Order of the Underwood. My loss, really.

From there, I only had one more stop on my agenda – The Judiska Museet (Jewish Museum). This is NOT an easy place to find. I wandered around, map in hand for a good twenty minutes before I

Seriously? Would it hurt to add a LITTLE pizzazz?

finally noticed the little sandwich board sign propped up against the door point the way inside. This took the idea of a small, Swedish museum to a whole new level. It was three rooms, and one of those was the combination entry hall/cafeteria/introductory movie auditorium/gift shop! Of the othertwo, one was devoted to the permanent collection and one to a rotating exhibit, this time on the student rebellion of 1968 as well as the deportation of Jews from Poland after the war and their acceptance in Stockholm (yes, it seems like all European countries were offering asylum to the Jews

Self portrait with stars

after the war) and other places. The permanent exhibit consisted of a number of Jewish artifacts rescued from bombed out temples and the like. It was actually very interesting, but the thing which fascinated me the most were the two displays featuring the yellow “jood” stars.

Leaving there I stopped for lunch. I ordered what I thought was a shrimp sandwich. I was told to take a seat and it would be brought out. I was thinking that’s strange. This was something I pointed out in the window, shouldn’t be that hard to slap it on a plate. Oh yeah, and they failed to mention it came with tea or coffee until AFTER I’d paid for my Cola Light! Anyway, I’m sitting outside, enjoying the beautiful day, drinking my tea and coke, when the girl brings out a salad fit for a king (or a member of the Royal Order Of The Moveable Type). It was great! And I didn’t realize I’d been craving a salad until I took my first bite and then I just devoured the thing. I wish now I’d taken a picture of it, but my (admittedly weak) description will just have to do.

The Old Town

Heading back to the hostel to pick up my bag, I did one last card attraction, this elevator to a restaurant (it normally cost 40 Kroner). Like I said, it was a beautiful day so the scenery was

Beautiful day in Stockholm

spectacular! I got my bag and headed for the station. The journey started off just fine, but then, like on the way to Munich, there was a problem with the track so they were going to stop the train, put us on coaches to get us past the problem then back on another train and away we go.

Except…

Except there weren’t enough coaches to get everyone to the other station so I ended up waiting (with a pleasant group of fellow travelers) for about an hour for a bus to arrive, then another hour to get to the pick-up station and then we all waited… and waited.

Look at that delay...

All told, the train was almost 5 hours late. Instead of getting in just before 23:00 it arrived at 3:30am. Instead of getting met by Sonny at the train station and getting a ride to Malin’s house, I had to take a cab with a guy who told me it was his first day on the job. Yes, I felt like I was on Star Tours!

And when I did get to Malin’s, I woke her up (no keys) and then promptly fell fast asleep. It was good to be back in Malmö.

When I had gotten in the night before, there was someone new in my room. Now, when staying at a hostel, this isn’t an unusual thing. In fact, it’s part of the fun of hostelling, meeting the new people. There was a couple in the room as well, they had been there the day before as well and I had spent a few minutes chatting with them, Very nice, from Australia, having trouble reconciling that each of them wanted to do different things with their days on holiday. I mention this only because it might come up later.

Anyway, I get up the next morning and I see a guy in my room, the new guy I mentioned, except as I watch, he’s hoisting my bag on to his bed and going through it. As you can imagine, I’m slightly alarmed. But then I realize it’s not my bag. It doesn’t have my green locks on it, which are fairly distinctive. It’s also slightly smaller than my bag. But of course, in these situations, you take any opportunity to strike up a conversation so I say to this stranger “I thought you had my bag.” He laughs and says “I know, isn’t weird.” In perfect English. Ah…I think to myself. He might be an American! And I was right. His name was Emmanuel and he was indeed from San Francisco. We start chatting and hit it off great (it also turns out we have a LOT of the same gear, thank you REI). We have breakfast together and it turns out he’s got to be at the train station for a 21:00 train to Copenhagen and wasn’t sure what he was going to do with his day. I had some ideas of what I wanted to do with mine, but I went with him to the station, helped him get his bag sorted away in a locker and then we agreed to meet up for dinner later that night.

I took this opportunity to do what you MUST do when in Stockholm… I went to the Nobel Museum. Nobel, as you’ll recall,

The Nobel Museum

invented dynamite. He also invented a whole lot of other stuff and factories to produce it all. He was a true manufacturing giant. When he died, though, he thought he’d give back, so he create a trust to fund an award given to the best and the brightest in several different fields every year. And, just to piss off his countrymen, he told them the winner didn’t have to be a Swede! And so we now have the Nobel Prize and, like so many other museums in Stockholm, it’s nice and small and free with my card! They have a permanent display of the various winners (Isaac Bashevis Singer’s Typewriter is there!) and a revolving display of different things.

The guy invented TNT - do you really want food from his pantry?

When I was there it was a display of marketing centered around atoms. It was odd, trying to figure out a way to sell science to the mass market. I think they did a pretty good job. Now, the downside of these museums is that most of them don’t allow photographs so we’re gonna light on the graphics this time.

So afterwards, I was starving so I grabbed a hot dog and coke light from a street vendor and sat on a bench to rest my feet and eat before going to the next museum. Before too long, a couple sat down next to me, joking this was the diet coke bench since we were all drinking Light (which is one of the European Diet brands of Coke. The other is Coke Zero). Naturally, we struck up a conversation and guess what? Jews from back east America! Marty and his wife (I wish I could remember her name, I’m sorry). We ended up sitting there for an hour, talking Jewish heritage, talking parents and children, talking theatre (they were both directors in New York). Really one of the great, random encounters on which good travel is based.

So I walked them to the main shopping street, said goodbye and I headed to the palace. I wanted to see the inside of one of the last remaining active monarchies in Europe. Granted, this one is only a figurehead and the palace is only used for administrative functions, but still… So there were four things to see in the palace and since my card covered all of them, I was sure I was gonna see them all. At first I headed for the royal apartments, but it was recommended I wait for the guided tour so instead, I went to the

Changing of the Guard

underground parts. This was the site of the original castle, with the original walls, which had burned down in the 1600s. Once I finished up there, it was upstairs to the apartments where I did go on the guided tour. I saw where the heads of state eat and learned all about the regimented balls (the timing is very precise as to when the members of royalty enter and exit – I’d say it was Swiss precision, but that’s a whole other country). After the apartments I took a stroll through several hundred years of monarchy portraiture. Some of these people were very handsome and some…

Guard's been changed

well… some I’m sure were the product of inbreeding and could probably play either part of dueling banjoes with no sense of irony whatsoever.

Then came the rooms I wish I could have brought Riley Addison to… the crown jewels. For different functions and at different ages there were crowns made for the members of the royal family. There were also swords used for coronations and cloaks used for ceremonies, but the crowns were the big draw. They were really beautiful and covered in jewels and gemstones and gold. Just amazing.

Leaving there, I walked across the cobblestones to the Mint Museum but by that time, it was already closed so I ran around to the fourth section of the palace, the antiquary, and had a quick look see through the statues the previous kings had collected. The most impressing pieces, I thought, were a collection of muses. All nine of them. I’m fascinated by the idea of muse and so I was drawn to these pieces. If I’d had more time I would have stayed and studied them longer. I think when I get back I might do a bit of research in that area.

I had about an hour to go before I was to meet Emmanuel for dinner so I hopped a tram back to the hostel (free with card!) dropped off some stuff, then hightailed back to the opera where he was waiting for me. Turns out he didn’t do nearly anything he’d planned, but he did go shopping and found a fabulous outfit! So we wandered around, looking for a place to eat. Eventually we passed a TGI Fridays and he thought it’d be ironic if we stopped in there for a drink, so we did. One drink turned into two,

Retailers know Pride Fest is in town

which turned into nachos and we just had an amazing conversation, We talked about the Australian couple in our room (he didn’t think they were going to last long as a couple, either – very odd dynamic they had) and he asked me some rather thought provoking questions about travel and attitude. See, he was just starting a month of traveling by himself and was nervous. I helped put him at ease. Eventually, we got hungry and found a place for dinner, where the waiter

Emmanuel and I

was a riot and who actually yelled at Emmanuel for leaving a bad tip (but did it in a nice way since it was an honest mistake – we rectified the situation and gave him a decent tip).

We made our way to the train station where he got on towards Copenhagen and I grabbed a metro and headed for home. I still had a number of places to see and my card didn’t expire for 36 hours.

The morning came very early on my second day in Stockholm, not because I was ready to wake up, but because there were no blinds in the room. But that’s okay. The amazingly expensive hostel I was in came complete with a breakfast so I was able to go downstairs and have a nice, healthy meal of meat and bread and cheese and hardboiled eggs before going off to activate my Stockholm Card. My first stop was going to be the water ferry to take me across to this island where there were a number of museums I wanted to checkout. See, Stockholm is built on a number of islands, I think it’s 13 that make up the primary city, and there are water busses and taxis to get across easily. And My card is supposed to give me access… except not to the one nearby. It does give me free rides, but only from a certain spot and that spot was a hell of a walk from where I was, so I paid to get across.

First stop, a place called The Aquaria. I know, what a surprise, huh? But this place seemed kinda cool so in I went. It was set up

Fish at the Aquaria

in different climate zones, so the first section was an Amazon Rainforest. There was a back porch set and huge catfish swimming around, and piranha which they claimed weren’t as dangerous as people made them out to be but I choose not to believe them since the image of a hundred of the little buggers reducing a cow to bones in seconds is just way to cool to be false. The next section

Big catfish

was more of a dirty water education thing, where they had built a sewer you could climb down into and see how pollution affects things. Overall, it was small, but nice. This was the thing I was going to learn about Stockholm museums (and I saw a lot of them, I was determined to get my money’s worth out of that little card) is that they are all fairly small, so you can see a lot of them and they don’t really wear you out.

Of course, now that I’ve said that, my next stop was the Vasa Museum. The Vasa, not to be confused with Vaasa, was a state of the art battleship back in the 1600s which sank about 20 minutes into its maiden voyage. It sat on the bottom of the Stockholm harbor where, for some reason they explained a dozen times and I still didn’t quite get, it didn’t rot. So in the 60s they raised the thing, nearly intact, and threw it (carefully) into a

The figurehead at the prow of the Vasa

museum. It’s like when they used to have the Spruce Goose in Long Beach and it was just there and the majesty of it was almost overwhelming. When you walked into this museum and turned the corner after paying (which I didn’t do, I just flashed my card haha), the ship was just there. Huge and powerful and stuck in time. It really is hard to describe. The pictures don’t do it justice. It’s like when you see a whale in the ocean for the first time and you realize just how impressive it truly is. I literally stopped where I was and just stared. For a good ten minutes, I was riveted, just taking it in.

I couldn't get it all in one picture

I know I keep joking about being a pirate but seeing this ship really puts you there, you can smell the salt and sweat (okay, not that much sweat, it did only sail for twenty minutes). And the museum surrounding it not only covers the ship and its history, but a lot of information on the times it sailed as well. It was only one room, but it was a big room. I was there for a few hours and still didn’t see it all.

From there, I went to Junibacken, which is a museum in honor of Astrid Lindgren, who wrote Pippi Longstocking. Except she wrote so much more than that! I had no idea. Like when you first find out Ian Fleming also wrote Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. This lady was remarkable. I definitely want to get more of her stories when I get back. Anyway, this museum has two parts, the first is a kids area, with giant playthings and set pieces a la Pippi and the other part is a ride like storybookland through Lindgren’s different tales. I will say, not knowing what it

Kids playing in Pippi-land

was when I went in, I felt kinda creepy surrounded by parents and all these little kids and here I was, a middle aged guy on my own. Like that circus place in Bratislava (only that place was worse).

By this point, I was starving so I tried to find food. Not so easy. But since I knew where I was

Floating Boat Museum - Largest Diesel Engine in Sweden!

headed, I just pointed myself in that direction and struck out. I did make a stop or two to climb aboard a museum ship and check out an amusement park, but eventually, food was found. Then it was off to Skansen, the open air museum.

The idea behind Skansen is that it’s a huge park and they’ve recreated an old village inside, complete with craftsman and period costumes and the like (the girl in the 16^th century dress, high tops and cell phone made laugh). They also have a zoo, an aquarium (which really isn’t an aquarium – more on that in a minute) a concert venue and a lot of green areas. It’s a spectacular area to visit, one of the most popular in Stockholm. And of course, it was included with my card. So I walked in and tried to decipher a map which, really, was no good at all. Here’s the secret to Europe (but don’t tell anyone): Everything is closer than you think it is but further than you want it to be. It’s like walking between hotels on the Strip in Vegas. You’d swear it’s just right there, but then, no, it’s a lot further away. Wait. It’s the complete opposite of that. Never mind, forget I said anything. Anyway, back to the map. I had it in my pocket and the place looked absolutely huge and overwhelming (thankfully, I’d eaten). So, naturally, I decided to go with my comfort zone and hit the thing I wanted to see first – That’s right, the Aquarium.

Thing with the Aquarium in Skansen is that it has an extra fee attached to it. Just paying to get into the park doesn’t cover you.

Lemurs!!!

Since I’d already seen an Aquarium earlier in the day, I was ready to just bypass it – but then I discovered it was included with my card (I’m starting to love this card!). And I’ll tell you, it would have been a huge mistake to miss this place. Remember how I said it wasn’t really an Aquarium? It’s not. It’s more like a roadside attraction zoo on steroids. First thing you see when you walk in is the Ring Tailed Lemur exhibit. This ain’t your Helsinki Zoo here, no siree. I walk in and immediately, I’m face to face with a Lemur. I mean he’s right there! I immediately grab some poor kid to take my

Me with Lemurs

picture before they realize this critter has escaped and is running wild. And then I realize… they know. In fact, I was walking right through the middle of the lemur’s habitat. They were walking on the stairs, hanging out on the railings, following you on the platform. You were in their space. It was amazing! I stayed in there longer than any other exhibit (well…almost, but we’re getting to that) and just watched them play.

Lemur's Day Off

There were times when I’d have staring contests and times when they’d ignore me. Then there was the one who thought it was great fun to lick himself on the stairs. The families nearby did a lot of covering their children’s eyes.

Moving on from there was an assortment of weird little (and not so little) creatures. There were alligators and spiders, naked mole rats and turtles. They also had the oddest sense of humor when

Check out the hand in the upper left

it came to their displays. There was a desert landscape with a rattlesnake and a skeletal hand. There was a huge dirt enclosure for chipmunks (and the only reason I’m not mocking the same way I mocked Finland is because these little guys were tough. Check out this fight):

And then there were the meerkats. Okay, meercats are just cool in general. We’ve all wondered about Meerkat Manor, right. Could a documentary/soap opera on the lives of Savannah-Based (Africa, not Georgia) rodents really be that interesting? You betcha! I stood for longer than I was with the lemurs and watched a group of these guys take care of a baby who was prone on the rocks. They would each take turns coming over, checking in, making sure the little guy didn’t fall into a crevice (and if he started to, they’d grab him and spin him

Helping the baby

Baby Meerkat

around so he’d be safe). At the end, the baby crawled into someone’s lap and then two others joined in and the three completely covered the sleeping Katlet. Cutest thing ever!

When I left the animals, I walked around the rest of the park. I saw the glass blower and passed the old bindery (which was closed, but I took pictures anyway). There was a small zoo there as well, but I didn’t see a lot of animals. By this time, it was getting late and I was tired. I headed back to the hostel where I was invited to join Elinor, her sister and some friends for Mama Mia (the film).

Jaq resting on another milestone...

At first I wasn’t going to go, instead I was going to stay home and write, but then I realized my new mantra (which I actually clarified the next night at dinner, but that will be in a different post, I’m sure) which is “Don’t let the writing get in the way of the experience.” So I went. The movie was fine (we’re not going to talk about Pierce Brosnan’s singing) but the best part was going to the candy store beforehand and picking out a bagful of what my friend Malin calls “Sneeze Candy.” It looks like American candy, but it’s not (It’s snot? I don’t think that’s what she means, but you guys would never forgive me if I let the joke slide). What it was, though, was a surprise in every mouthful. I’d reach into my bag in the middle of the movie, grab what I thought was chocolate but instead was a weird flavored thing. Or the chocolate which should have had a nice creamy center and instead was filled with something disgusting (and don’t worry Bailey and Riley, I have a feeling I’m gonna bring some Swedish candy home for you guys!).

After the movie we went out for a quick drink at this great little outdoor pub which overlooked the harbor, but we made it a relatively early night. I still had many places on my card left to see.

Pulling into Stockholm I was exhausted and excited. And an hour ahead. We gained an hour somewhere in the waterway between here and Finland. Pretty cool if you ask me. So I’d prebooked my Hostel, as I am want to do, and, armed with directions, I set about to find the place. Of course, the directions they proffer are from the central train station, not from the Ferry port, so I first need to make my way there. I do this, with a 20 kilo bag on my back. At the train station, I then find the bus which is going to take me towards the hostel. Not the easiest thing in the world, considering the size of the Stockholm train station, but find it I must so find it I do (I don’t know why I’m talking like this, except I’ve been grading papers all day and I feel the need for some pomposity). Anyway… I get to the hostel (two hours early) drop my bags and grab a map to go off and explore the day. As I look at the map to orient myself, I discover, much to my chagrin, the ferry port, where I entered this fair city 90-120 minutes earlier, is a ten minute walk from where I now stood.

That’s right… all I had to do was climb some stair and walk 50 meters and bang, hostel front door. Oh well, as has been pointed out, the European food is agreeing with me so the extra bit of exercise couldn’t hurt. Well, now I’m armed with a map and a very friendly hostel employee, Elinor, has directed me to a local movie theatre (Batman just opened here and I was dying!) so I head off.

The Gates to Old Town

The first piece of art I see in the beautiful city is a weird little man thumbing his nose at the world. How could I not love this

I don't know art but I know what I like...

place? I make my way to the Old Town, via the main shopping street where I find the first science fiction bookstore I’ve seen in Europe, and head towards the opera house. Right in front of the Opera is the launch point for a bus and boat city tour I had decided to take. I got there a little early (well, depend on how you look

My People!

at it – I missed the 10:30 departure and the 12:30 was still 90 minutes away), bought my ticket and went for a wander. I discovered that I had come to Stockholm right in the middle of Pride Festival! There were rainbow flags everywhere! Now, this wouldn’t be so bad, except it explained why my hostel was so freaking expensive! It also explained some of the weird window displays I’d been seeing.

I also had a nice look at the river and the palace, checked out where the Nobel museum was and even walked through the free part of the dance museum (odd place, it really was the ballet/ethnic dance museum). By that time, the bus was ready to be boarded (is that passive construction?) and I saw a good number of

Look at the flags

interesting sights. Mostly, though, it was a lay of the land kind of deal where I saw some of the things I wanted to go back and see again when I had more time and energy. The boat portion of the trip, while pretty, was kind of a waste of time. Not a whole lot of historical information (the lunch

View from the back of the boat

I’d gotten as part of my tour wasn’t enough to feed a super model) and we spent more time waiting for locks to open and close than we did actually seeing sights. Ah well. You live and learn, right?

On the boat, though, I did have a lovely conversation with a couple from back east in the states. Their daughter was over for some sort of martial arts competition/camp thing and they decided to come out and cheer her on. That’s me, though, huh? I can meet and talk

Right in the middle is one of the original Absolut Vodka Barrels

to anyone, anywhere. Certainly makes serendipity more frequent.

Afterwards, I went to the palace and while I was in line to buy tickets, I found out about the “Stockholm Card.” A number of European cities have these things – they’re like all access passes to the museums and public transportation. You can get them for a various number of days and in the past, it never seemed to be worth it, but for some reason, Stockholm called out to me. So I bought the three day card and then wondered what to do with myself. Now, you might think that

A palace guard

since I had this card, I would just start tearing through museums and riding willy nilly on the local busses and subways, right? Wrong. See, it’s good for 72 hours from the first use and I figured that if I didn’t use it the day I bought it, I would still be good for transport on my last day. So, card in hand, I walked to the movie theatre and watched Batman (which I will be seeing again back in Vegas) then headed to the hostel for some well deserved sleep.

Was thinking about this place for breakfast...