I got back to Malmö in the morning, made my way to Malin’s place and promptly collapsed on the bed – but not for long. We had a lunch date with Marie at the special, top secret sushi place where I got the best present of my trip – a jar of salt licorice candy (no, that’s not the special part) with a custom label, words by Malin, art by Marie. It’s awesome! And it will hold a special place on my mantle for years to come, candy still tucked safely inside because, let’s face it, unless you grew up with the stuff, salt licorice is some of the nastiest gunk on the planet. We were joined at lunch by Martin, an engineer (and part time aspiring magician) who has helped Malin with props. He had just started his holiday and so had some time off.

Malmo fest

In fact, Martin and I decided to hang out for a bit that night and hit the opening festivities of the Malmö festival – an annual street fair/music fest/craft show which takes place all

Me and a giant lamp

over town. So we walked and talked (we also visited the science fiction bookshop so I could get a new book) and took pictures. I said good night fairly early, though, since I had to pack for my flight to Reykjavik the next day as well as finish grading papers.

That next day came early and was trying to figure out how I was going to get everything into my backpack. There were times it didn’t look like it would all fit, but eventually, it got there. In the morning, I also called my friend Ida (you remember her from the post way back in June entitled “Where Were We…”  ) who was back in Copenhagen. See, she had gone home to Ecuador for a bit and just happened to be back when I was there and she had asked if we could get together. So when I called her, we arranged to meet in Copenhagen at 6:30. Quite cryptically she said “come hungry.”

So I finally got everything into the pack, hoisted it on my back, and caught a ride to the train station with Malin and Sonny. It was nice to be able to say good-bye to both of them (we thought Sonny might be working). They are such a great couple and they made me feel so welcome and at home during

All packed up and ready to go...

all my time in Malmö. I can honestly say my journey would not have nearly as successful if it hadn’t been for Malin and Sonny (and Marie – Arrrrrrrrrrrrrgggh)! Anyway, they dropped me off, I jumped a train and headed off to meet Ida (remember, it’s pronounced with the short “I” sound – Eeda). I was running a few minutes late so I went still carrying my pack. We met in front of Tivoli Gardens and Ida immediately suggested what I had been thinking, that we walk back across the street and deposit my bag in a locker for the evening. Not only was it more practical, but she made some reference to the fact that it just wouldn’t do to bring my 24.7 kilo pack to where we were going for dinner. And as I would find out, she was right!

After dropping my pack, we headed back into the city proper. There was a Pride Fest concert going on in the square and I followed Ida through the throngs of thongs. When I asked where we were going, she said I’d see. We did, however, have a bit of a walk ahead of us. On the walk, we caught up on where we’d been, what we’d been doing (mostly me, because she had gone back to work) and what was next. Finally, we got to a harbor and the view was spectacular. Remember how I said I was proud of myself for not seeing the Little Mermaid while I was in Copenhagen? Guess what? That’s exactly where Ida brought me and that mermaid, she ain’t so little.

She sits high in the middle of the harbor, staring plaintively out over the ocean, waiting for her love to come back. It really is a beautiful piece. I stared for a second before Ida said “Come on, we have a boat to catch.” She explained that she had wanted to surprise me and so had called in a favor and pulled some strings and fibbed slightly about my American reporter credentials, but she managed to get us a table for dinner in one of the most exclusive restaurants in Copenhagen – Hans – located in the head of the Little Mermaid!

We had to take a small ferry boat to get out there, a trip of mere minutes – which was a shame because the boat was so nice and well appointed. I found out later, if there’s a back up at the restaurant or if you’re very early, they’ll serve cocktails on the boat and turn it into a pre-dinner cruise. But we were on-time and our table was waiting so no cruising for us. Next time, if there is one. So the boat drops us off at a dock which is hidden from the dry side of the view, and we are directed into a faux cave. From inside, things look bigger than you’d think – you can’t see where the statue joins with the rock which betrays the fabrication of the whole thing. Unfortunately, and I’ve complained about this before, but there was no elevator, so, after checking in at the base, we had to climb the 80 or so stairs to the top.

When we finally reached the main floor, the restaurant was spectacular. It was dimly lit with the majority of light coming in from the two large windows which corresponded to the Mermaid’s eyes. As the sun set, though, the ambient lighting took over, just bright enough to see but not so bright as to diminish the lights of the city outside. It’s a very romantic setting. Honestly, made me sad Ida and I are just friends (but thankful she called in her favor for me rather than her boyfriend who was coming in the next week). We were seated at a table slightly to the side of the windows (you can’t ask for everything, right?) and shown the menus. Evidently Hans (named for Hans Christian Andersen, the writer of The Little Mermaid tale) is known for its meat-like seafood. If that doesn’t make sense, think of it this way… they don’t do traditional seafood. The fish on the menu isn’t done in filets. Instead, they only work with thick, solid cuts of fish. So the tuna, which I had, is a tuna steak, prepared with beef like spices and a sauce which has to be tasted to be believed. Honestly, this was the best meal I had in my entire trip (figures it would happen on my last night on the mainland, huh?). Ida, who is a vegetarian, had a sampler plate which also was amazing (yes I tried some – but I was still glad I had the tuna). I didn’t particularly care for the mixed veggies, but the mashed potatoes had some sort of base taste I’ve never had before. We asked and the waiter told us it was because they use a blend of yak milk instead of cow milk to make it fluffier (No, I don’t know where they get the yak milk, either).

After the main course was digested, we decided to have desert. Yes, they had tiramisu on the menu, but I just couldn’t order it. The place was too cool to have something like that so instead we decided to split ‘The Philopher’s Stone.’ We were both full and while I would have liked to have tried ‘The Red Shoes,’ the description of which included powdered espresso beans and candied ginger, just seemed a bit too much (and can you tell all the desserts were named for H.C. Andersen tales? The Tiramisu was actually called ‘The Tinder Box’). Of course, what we did order was no slouch. It was a hand churned ice cream (the flavor wasn’t exactly vanilla, it was richer and there was something underneath it I couldn’t indentify, but that’s as close as I’m gonna get) served with a chocolate infused biscotti like cookie. Except the cookie wasn’t hard, it had a soft middle which didn’t exactly taste like chocolate. I’m not doing a good job of explaining it, but it was amazing. Even better was the presentation – It was served in a bowl, with the cookie “standing at attention” and underneath it was a dry ice mist to give off the feeling of a cold Danish morning. Just spectacular!

By this time it was getting late and I had a flight to catch, so we couldn’t stay to enjoy any more of the ambience or after dinner drinks. We made our way down stairs, caught the ferry back to land and headed for the airport (looking back at The Mermaid, you could see a glint in the eyes where the restaurant is, but it was shielded so well you couldn’t see anything going on behind those eyes).

At the airport, Ida walked me as far as she could, to the alarmingly empty security checkpoint, where we said good bye. I boarded the plane, taking an aisle seat and rested for the three hour flight to Keflavik, the main Icelandic

How luggage arrives into Keflavik...

airport about 40 kilometers from Reykjavik, where I had a “guest house” booked.

My trip was coming to an end – two and a half days to go before heading back to Vegas. But I was planning to make the most of them.

Well… I did it again. I honestly don’t know why I keep doing the same thing expecting different results – except this time I got them! I went to the zoo in Copenhagen and, unlike my previous zoo outings (Berlin, Zagreb, Helsinki, Stockholm) this time, not only were the animals out, but there were more of them! I think the reason earlier jaunts had proved so unsatisfying was that the

Mommy and baby seals

animals were gestating! Now, as summer was winding down and fall was coming around the corner, there were babies galore! Everywhere you looked, there were baby animals holding tight to mommies and daddies. It was quite sweet.

Also, somehow, I managed to follow the designated feeder around the park. In several places, I only had to wait a few minutes for the girl to set up the food and then release some sort of big mammal into the enclosure to eat it. The brown bears were cool, but the tigers were the best! She set up two huge hunks of meat, one in a tree and one tied to a rope and then let the cats out. Didn’t

Tigers!

take long for one to figure out how to get the meat from the rope and then parade around with it while the other one followed gamely, trying to snag a piece. After a few minutes, the second one remembered there was another hunk in the tree so he (I’m assuming here, I didn’t look) climbed the tree and successfully got his own lunch. I didn’t stick around much after that since it was crowded and there were other animals to see.

In the monkey house, they had put out food (fruits and vegetables mostly) and a giant stuffed octopus before letting the chimps back in. It was kind of fun watching the biggest one attack the

Cephalopods in the monkey house

orange octopus, realize it wasn’t a threat, and then carry it around with him while he ate.

Wolves

I also saw wolves and polar bears and hippos and lions and the newest attraction – the Elephant house. This is a brand new exhibit, just opened, and really state of the art. There’s lots of space for the pachyderms and a really nice “enrichment center” which is a nice way saying educational stuffs. The Zoo in Copenhagen really did themselves proud, especially when you compared it to the old elephant house which was still standing next to the new one. It was brick and tiny, like

Baby Elephant

something out of the 20s.

All told, a very positive experience, and not a bunny to be found!

Afterwards, I headed for home (Sweden, remember? This was the day I had left my note “Gone to Denmark, be back before dark”) since we had a party to go to that night. Evidently, it is a tradition in August to have a crayfish party. I’ll explain in a minute what that means, but when I got back to the house, Malin was there, along with Sonny (who had gotten gig doing a modern dance interpretation for the Malmö ballet but was off today) and Ola, Malin’s brother. The four of us hung out for a bit before heading to the party, which was at a guy called Marcus’ place.

Now here’s the thing about crayfish parties… They are big events where everyone brings their own crayfish, which are usually

Dinner in its most basic form

purchased precooked in a special Swedish boil of spices and herbs. When we got there (we weren’t the last to arrive, but close) there were already about twenty people seated around along table and several of them were wearing crayfish party hats. I wasn’t told about the hats in advance or I certainly would have insisted we get some! So we took our seats at the end, Sonny produced a big tray of crayfish and Malin and Ola tried to explain what to do.

Ola showing the crayfish who's boss

Malin explained the Swedish way was to suck out the juice from the middle then put the head in your mouth and bite down, which she did and Ola was supposed to do. See, the hazard of being around people who speak a different language is that they can quite openly plan a practical joke without you knowing it and that’s what the chomping the heads was. You don’t really eat the heads but Malin had

Sonny and Malin

committed to the joke while Ola chickened out at the last minute. In reality, what you’re supposed to do is pull the meat from the tail and put it on a slice of bread, eventually crating a very nice sandwich (it just takes a while). Adding to the time frame is that every now and again, someone starts singing (and yes, there were lyric sheets – in Swedish) at the end of which, you drink a shot of schnapps. This is really part if the tradition, I swear. And Sonny, bless him, was determined to make sure I got the full experience, so he had bought a nice sampler pack of schnapps bottles and he and I made short work of them over the course of the night. Malin had left early, she was tired,

crayfish tryingto steal my schnapps

and she made Sonny promise to make sure I got home in one piece. Eventually he did, but not before I met some very cool people, got a lot tipsy and stole a crayfish party hat of my very own!

It was a rough morning when I finally woke up, and I stayed around the house doing work and taking care of business (and doing laundry) until the afternoon when I got my stuff together and

I got my hat!

headed down to the train station to catch my overnight to Amsterdam. This was my second to last big trip and I was preparing to make the most of it!

Why go to Helsingor? Well, for one, everyone’s doing it and we all know how I am about peer pressure! But really, the more important reason, is that even the castle in Helsingor, which is actually called Kronborg, is real, but it’s much more well know for a fictional tale set there, that of Hamlet, by one W. Shakespeare.

Now here’s the fun part… getting there. It’s one of the closest places between Denmark and Sweden, only like four kilometers, and the town on the Swedish side is called Helsingborg, so don’t think that wasn’t confusing! But anyway, there’s a ferry which goes across between the two villages every twenty minutes or so and you can get a pass called “Around the Sound,” which basically lets you go from Copenhagen to Helsingor – Helsingborg to Malmo, all around for two days from the first time you use it. It’s like the Stockholm card in that respect. But you’re only supposed to travel in one direction around, so theoretically you get one ferry ride and one over the bridge transport. No problem.

Kronborg from the water

As you can probably guess, I got one of these passes. Of course, I paid no attention to the fine print and headed by train up to Helsingborg to take the ferry across. It was a short ride, nothing like the ferry to Putgarten, but then, really, what is? The nice thing was that the guy didn’t mark my ticket in anyway so I was pretty sure I could ride the ferry back, which is what I was intending to do.

Pulling into the harbor, the castle overwhelms the city. It’s huge and imposing. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy to find, so I asked directions. I felt slightly silly when the guy at the train station (which was adjacent to the ferry station) said you go out the door, turn right and walk. It was hard to miss.

So I did. Pretty much as long as you could see it, you knew where you were going. I walked along the waterfront (where,

Don't drive over the wall

evidently, they don’t like cars going into the drink) until finally I got to the castle. The sky was threatening but so far, it hadn’t unleashed its fury. So I quickly went in and bought my complete ticket package, which included the royal apartments, the casements, the chapel, and the tower/marine museum. I also wanted to do a bit of wandering outside, which was free. So I paid for my tickets (which was actually just one ticket with perforations on all four corners, each to come off as you saw the corresponding sight) and went out into the courtyard (which was set up for that evening’s open air performance of Romeo and Juliet) to decide on my course of action. I figured to do the casements first. The underground areas, storerooms and guard quarters seemed like the best place to begin a castle tour.

Inside, as the self-guided tour started, there was a vending machine. I went to see what it was selling, wondering what kind of a product would make sense in an otherwise empty room. It was just one thing – flashlights. Small ones, batteries included. Naw, I thought. My eyes are fine. I can watch my step and see what there is to see. So I headed into the caves.

Four minutes later I was back, digging through my pockets for the 20 Kroner to get my very own pocket LED battery powered light. Inside the caves, there were few areas of illuminations and none of the exhibits had any type of lighting, so if you wanted to know what the pictures on the walls were of, you needed your own. Okay, there was one exhibit which had light, and that was the statue of Holger Danske, a kind of King Arthur figure (in fact, Arthur probably stems from him, as do a number of legends around the world) of the sleeping King who will arise when his country needs him – so far Denmark’s been pretty

Really nice Shadow self-portrait in the casements

lucky and he’s still asleep down here. Further on into the casements were areas of utter darkness where they had stuck random wax figures. This was scarier than any haunted house! It was absolutely creepy and, to be perfectly honest, my little 3xAAA powered push button light wasn’t doing much in the department of keeping the monsters away. I made it through, sanity intact, although I did wonder about the guards who had had to live down there before the age of electricity. I know they had torches and such but still… creepy! As I made my way back up the ramp towards ground level, I pondered which of my three remaining visits I would use next.

My choice was made for me when, as I stepped outside, the sky opened up and buckets of rain decided to fall. Exploring the grounds was going to have to wait, as was the tower (which, really, was just the roof of the highest point of the castle). So the Royal Apartments it was. The apartments were interesting in that they were a mix of historical furnishings, Shakespearean history and contemporary art – a special exhibit was going on with modern artists using the historical as their launch point for new works. It was all quite interesting , especially the

Original Tapestry...

historical perspective of where Hamlet came from. Unfortunately, I don’t remember all the details, but the basic plot derived from a Danish writer and that was the only reason for setting the play in Elsinor. There

Modern interpretation!

really was no other reason. In fact, there’s no reason to believe Shakespeare himself ever set foot in the castle. Most of what he knew about it, the historical details he put into the play, could easily have come from sailors who used to use the port as a trading area. So basically, the shipyards were the medieval Wikipedia.

After the apartments, it was still raining so I went to the chapel. Not the most impressive, I will say. It was one room and the only thing it really had going for it were ornate pew headers. Certainly not worth a separate admission. Honestly, it would have been a nice

In the chapel

gimme to visitors to let them see the chapel for free, you know, give something back (and you can tell them I said so).

The weather still hadn’t let up but I didn’t have anywhere else to go so up into the maritime museum I went. As a museum, it was okay. Some interesting tidbits but mostly it was model ships or Danish origin. The tower entrance was about halfway into the museum and, luckily, by the time I got to the top (again with the circular, narrow staircase) the rain had stopped so I was treated

From the tower...

to some spectacular views of the bay and the castle grounds. And since the rain HAD stopped, I figured when I went down, I could finally do some exploring of said grounds, which I did.

You have to admit, if you were a medieval king, you could do worse than living here. You had the ocean on one side, a nice town on the other and people paying to come through in either direction. Not a bad way to survive.

I decided it was getting late so I decided to hit the gift shop then head for home. I’m glad I went to the gift shop in the castle,

The Castle walls...

though, rather than waiting until I got into Helsingor since all the shops there specialized in alcohol and there wasn’t a Hamlet souvenir ashtray to found anywhere.

When I got back to Malmö, Malin and I went out for dinner to do a bit of translating for my project and then we riffed on magic and just chatted well into the evening (not the best idea since she had an early morning gig).

So my first day back in glorious Skåne (which is the cool, Swedish name for the southern area of Sweden where Malmo is located) was spent doing precisely… nothing. Okay, not true. I slept and graded papers. And that felt like a vacation in and of itself. It was nice not to have pressure on myself to make the most of everyday and see all the sights and such. I could sleep and work and then take a nap. I needed it, honestly.

Now here’s the problem with this kind of schedule, though: I’m not sure when I did the things I did do (does that make sense or do I sound like a Danny Kaye film?) but I’ll try and give you the high lights just the same. I think I spent two days just catching

Malin on the beach

up. Which isn’t to say I didn’t do anything, but it was more mellow and relaxed. Malin and I spent some time working on the article I’m writing about her and we also went out with her friend Marie (who is an awesome artist) to lunch and things. Then we went to the beach! Yup, here in Sweden they have beaches! Now, it wasn’t what a normal Vegas boy would consider warm, beach weather, but we had a grand time. It was in a

Marie and I in the water

small town south of Malmo, which we were going to because Marie said they had the best ice cream there. We stopped at the beach first, though. I even went into the water, (yeah for waterproof cameras!) which was really cold. Afterwards, we sat on the sand and came up with ideas for Marie to write and draw a children’s book around. She’s that good, too. She could do it and it would sell! But after lounging around, ice cream began calling our name. So we stopped in at the little place and they did indeed have a damn fine cone of ice cream. Then we did a little bit of shopping in this expensive second hand store before heading home.

Do you remember the theatre I told you about? The one Malin’s dad helped build which is about an hour and a half away from Malmo in a little village called Skillinge (which, I’ve learned, is actually pronounced Whhiilling)? Well there was another show going on there, called Boogie Woogie Burlesque and Malin knew pretty much everyone in the show.

Now, here’s the thing about going to theatre in Sweden as an American. Odds are you’re not going to be speaking the same

Malin's dad and Ulf, the leader of the Boogie Woogie band

language as everyone up on that stage. We had thought about this and figured that the show was more of a concert with a loose story-line so it should be okay. And it was. I didn’t follow the story one little bit but the music was great and the magical variety act, a guy named Mephisto Jr. (Thorston Andreassen) did his act, which was very verbal, in a mish-mosh of German and Swedish and while I didn’t understand a thing, I laughed so hard I was crying. Then there was the music, a collection of standards and new pieces, all boogie woogie and all played brilliantly. It really was a fantastic show! Afterwards, we hung out at the theatre with the guys, shooting the breeze and enjoying the theatrical camaraderie. It’s a different vibe hanging with theatre people rather than

Ola and Sophie

solo performers. It felt good. It’s been a while since I’ve done something like that. I also met Malin’s brother Ola, who is also a magician. Really fun guy. I bring him up now, because he’s going to come back later when we get to the crayfish party (which is what we in the writing biz call foreshadowing).

Oh yeah, before the show, we had lunch with Christina, Malin’s sister, and her brand new, as of a week ago, fiancé, Henrik. You remember them from the infamous first trip to Puttgarden (ahhh… the good old days, when this blog was small and manageable and only read by family members instead of half of Europe). And after lunch we still had time to kill so Malin drove me to this great old church (which was closed) and told

The church...after it was returned

reminded me of how she made it vanish last year during her big show extravaganza. Pretty amazing feat, really. And no, I’m not going to tell you how she did it.

So then, it was off to Copenhagen.

I figured I should probably get back to doing that touring thing I was supposed to be doing and since

NOT the real Little Mermaid

Copenhagen is only a half hour away by train, I may as well got on with it, right? So Malin, Marie and I headed down to the station, hopped an intercity and made our way to Denmark (okay, side note here – but a few days later, when I went over by myself, it felt SO cool to write a note saying “gone to Denmark, be home before dark.”).

We stumbled along back streets and poked our heads into bookstores. We found cool little cafes and

living statues of a guy in the wind...

expensive coffee shops. I took pictures of living statues and with dead ones. What we didn’t do, was see the Little Mermaid. At least not the real one. At this point, it’s almost a matter of pride. We did, however, go to

My Danish family is a little stiff...

Copenhagen’s other main tourist draw – Christiana.

Christiana is a 1960s era commune in the middle of a 21^st century city. It has its own laws and own government. It buys electricity and water from Copenhagen but everything else is self-sufficient. They have a street called Pusher Street where drugs (but no longer hard drugs, just pot) are sold. We went and walked through and it was interesting, but I didn’t quite get the draw. I’ve lived in Venice Beach and old hippies just don’t excite me. I’ve had WAY too many conversations with guys who are too smart but have decided the game isn’t worth playing and so they just exist and float along and that’s what this place seemed like to me. The original idea was probably very good, but it’s been commodified to the point of playing at being hippy.

The last hippie outpost...

So yeah… not so much with the Christiana (but nice picture, eh?)

The few days after that were made up of working and writing and translating a book for my degree. And then I had to do something every English Lit person must do…I went to Elsinore!